take this bread

thinking about how i got to here.

here being a christian again after a long journey in a very dark forest.

Sara Miles gets more than a little credit for ending that journey or at least beginning the end. as the blurb on the back cover says "[she] wandered into a church, received communion, and found herself transformed - embracing a faith she'd once scorned."

well, i wandered into a Barnes and Noble, found this book, read it, and wanted to be transformed just like her. yes, a "lesbian left-wing journalist who'd covered revolutions around the world" got this white collar corporate lawyer to begin a transformation from neo-pagan-Buddhist agnostic to christian. a one-word description - what a relief. of course what i mean by christian isn't what most who hear me say that mean. but that's a different post.

why Sara miles? i think the guts of what she showed me is all in that chapter called "Crossing II" . Sara showed me a faith, a Christ and a church that i had never seen before. one that said you are OK, you are loved and you don't have to be afraid. the Table is big, and all (and she really means ALL ) are welcome. this is not the catholic church of my fabled upbringing nor is it the cloistered whispers of Buddhist meditation halls - both of which had their own little circles of right and wrong. it is a community. a community that seeks to bring together everyone at that Table, and embraces the words she quotes from Isaac of Nineveh: "Did not our Lord share his table with tax collectors and harlots? So do not distinguish between worthy and unworthy. All must be equal for you to love and serve."

i love that Sara decided that her faith existed not in communion she served as deacon - though it did - but that her faith existed in the community pantry that she created at St. Gregory's in San Francisco. Literally tables and tables of food that she gives away with no questions asked. In just the same way I can now imagine Christ giving away loaves and love to the multitudes -

with no questions asked.

So, thank you Sara miles for feeding me all your words. though you have never met me, the knowledge that i could stand in your line and walk out with a bag of food, no questions asked, does more for my understanding of the love of Christ than a thousand sermons ever did.

Namaste.