28 October 2007

This Is How It Was Today

Nan and Carolyn were down in Kentucky overnight making the last arrangements for Don's funeral. It was quiet in Ohio where Charlotte and I hung out at Carolyn's house with bunches of relatives. A beautiful fall day blew gently in the trees and in through the windows. We sat and talked to each other about Don, about what it would be like at his funeral, the Bengals and the World Series. The sadness was crystalline and shimmered in the golden light. Not a sadness of resignation but one of acceptance. This is how it was today.

We took Iana, the littlest prettiest girl you ever saw, for a walk to the road to get the Sunday paper. She giggled and ran and held Charlotte's hand. At one point she said to no one in particular, "My Mommy loves me." And this is how the sadness around here was, just a fact and no elaboration needed.

Don always told you he loved you when you visited. Because he did. Without pretense or cleverness or for wanting something (thought he was always happy to get a gift).

When Nan and Carolyn got home we had a big family dinner catered by yours truly. It consisted of Samosa Stuffed Baked Potatoes (p. 60)and Red Lentil Cauliflower Curry (p. 186), both from Vegenomicon. The family is supportive of the vegan thing though we get teased a bit. Doug thought the Curry could have used some sliced and fried kielbasa...

Now I'm going to make some Banana Bread before I go to bed. Something about funerals and loss make me want to cook. I think its simpler than "reaffirming life" or something deep like that. Maybe just wanting people to have something good.

This is a good family and I'm lucky to be a part of it.

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