There are many things in life that I have "put off" - for years. During my long walk yesterday up Whitter Gulch it occurred to me that "putting things off" is not just a lack of inititiatve or a sign of procrastination, though sometimes, of course, it may simply be that. But in the main, in the big picture, it is a lack of acceptance.
Non-acceptance brings all kinds of troubles. For example, not "balancing your check book" could be a sign of laziness, procrastination or whatever. Or it could be a sign of fear, of not wanting to really understand the situation. Because if you understand something then you ususally have to do something about it, or the psychic dissonance will kill you, bankrupt you or at least make you so anxious that you further continue the denial with ativan or paxil or something. The pharmacuetical industry thrives on fostering non-acceptance.
"Balancing your check book" is a good metaphor for many areas of life. "Balancing your check book" makes you deal with life as it is, not as you wish it were. And "life as it is," when denied, is pretty much where all the suffering happens. If you live life (and I'm talking to myself here) "as it is" you may have unhappy moments, days, weeks or even months, but those moments will come and go, and you will have a life.
This blog is called "open windows and unlocked doors" because that openness allows the world to get inside. Yes, you can lock those windows and doors, you can refuse to "balance your checkbook" - but then what?
The act of denying "life as it is" will make you suffer every moment of every day no matter how big or small the denial. You won't have to deal with your "life as it is" but you won't have a life either. And that is hardly a fair trade.
So take out those metaphorical bank statements and get to work. And if you discover you are overdrawn, well, that's not the end of the world.
It's the beginning of your life.
My thanks to Lin Jensen and his book, "Pavement" for inspiring me to think again about "life as it is." You can visit his blog [here].
Namaste.
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