open windows & unlocked doors

Vegan French Vegetable Soup with Pistou

2011-10-08T15:51:00.002-06:00

Perfect soup for the first snow day of the year.

Soup:

2 Tbs. unsalted butter (or olive oil to make it vegan)
3 medium leeks (white and pale green parts medium finely chopped (about 5 cups)
2 large shallots, finely chopped
1/2 cup dry white wine
6 medium potatoes - russet works but I like gold
6 medium carrots (try to get some different colors), chopped
5 cloves garlic, minced (I like more...)
1 Tbs. fresh thyme or 1 tsp. dried
1 Large bay leaf
4 cups vegetable broth
2 cups water

1-3 tsp. truffle oil (to taste)

Pistou:

1 cup firmly packed basil leaves
1/4 cup walnuts (toasted is nice but not essential)
2 cloves garlic
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil

What To Do:

1. Melt butter in pan over medium heat.
2. Add leeks and shallots and a 1/2 tsp. of sea salt.
3. Cover and cook until leeks are softened. Stir often. Maybe 10 minutes.
4. Add wine and garlic. Cook uncovered until the wine is mostly evaporated.
5. Add carrot, potato, thyme, bay leaf, broth and water. Cover and bring to a boil...reduce heat and simmer for 35 - 45 minutes (until everything is really soft). If you have time, turn the heat off and let it all sit there for a couple of hours before reheating and going to the next step.
6. Remove bay leaf. Add one tsp of truffle oil. Purree in batches in blender or processor or use an immersion blender until smooth. Season with pepper (unless you used low sodium vegetable broth, it probably doesn't need salt).

7. Add a little more water if its too thick. It should be on the thick side of creamy not the creamy side of thick. Taste and add more truffle oil if you like!

8. While all that is cooking you can make the pistou in your processor (hard to do in a blender). Drop the garlic into the running processor. Scrap down. Add the basil and walnut. Pulse to combine. Add oil and blend until smooth. Salt and pepper to taste.

To Serve:

1. Place a dollop (a Tbsp or so) in the bottom of each deep bowl. Ladle 2 cups of hot soup over top to cover the pistou. Sprinkle with a little fresh thyme if you have any. Serve.
2. Your guest then stir the soup to mix in the pistou.
3. Bread and cheese board on the side.

Toast!

Sluggo Koan

2011-10-07T23:48:00.000-06:00

At one time Nancy asked Master Sluggo, “Does a cartoonist have Buddha Natureor not?” Master Sluggo answered: “No.”

Zen In a Nutshell.

2011-10-03T07:17:00.004-06:00

All you really need to know.

A Matter of Life or Death

2011-09-19T21:29:00.001-06:00

"Do not waste your time by night or day." - from a poem called Sandōkai (參同契) by Sekito Kisen, 700–790, a fundamental text of the Sōtō Zen.

It started with my birthday in May.

A nagging question of life and death. One that I had been put aside for decades. At least put aside from any serious consideration. But the question here at 55 is, once again, the meaning of life, the purpose of life, the what of life, and maybe most importantly, the why. I had the same question in my dorm room at St. Cloud State University way back in 1978. Thirty-four years later the question has much more immediacy than it did then. I am pretty sure I won't live to be 110 years old - Twinkies as a favorite snack will only get you so far after all. So it feels like this line of inquiry is once again open.

And because it is no longer just an academic line of inquiry it has a certain vitality.

We thought death had come for my sister-in-law yesterday. Her lips were blue and her breathing shallow. She lay on the sidewalk, unmoving, while we waited frantically - and you can indeed wait frantically - for the emergency rescue crew to get there, outside the Dave and Busters at the Mall in Columbus, OH on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. We thought she was slipping away...but she didn't. Instead of a heart attack, it was some type of food poisoning that left as fast as it came. Death stopped by to remind us all that life is fleeting.

I need those reminders apparently. Its quite easy to distract myself here in our interconnected age. I do it every day with books and treehouses and The Big Bang Theory. Oh, and work of course. And Facebook. And Twitter. And... it goes on and on. I distract myself from having to think about meaning. And so death. Because I don't know what the meaning of life is...at all and so its much, much easier, and much, much less distressing for me to distract myself. I know that I am supposed to believe that Christ died for my sins and so by that Grace I get to go to heaven. But seriously, that can't be the meaning of life can it[?], because you know God could have skipped this step and just started us all off in heaven. Why this in-between step? Life as God's waiting room doesn't hold my interest much. Life as an airport. We get a layover instead of a direct flight. Why? Cheaper fare? There is a step in here that doesn't have an obvious purpose. A layover without rationale.

What is this life? Who is living it? Why is that "who" living it? Who is that who?

What is this?

-R

How To Be A Poet

2011-04-12T23:32:00.000-06:00

Some people visit graveyards
to make rubbings of the gravestones they find there;
usually those of relatives.
They do this by putting a piece tracing paper on the stone,
then rubbing across it with charcoal or a pencil,
until they’ve reproduced the words of stone.

To be a poet, you need
to hold up a really big
piece of tracing paper to your life,
then rub it and rub it and rub it.
Then tear it up. Then burn
it. Then throw the ashes
into the air. Then watch them settle on the flowers,
the bodies, the blood, the dead,
dreads, red cars, blue lies, the
people you love, the one’s you
hate,
the pies, the cakes,
lust, sweet whiskey,
envy and ivy, cop and carpenter,
grocer and barber,
barista,
Sandinista, the jerk in the next car,
the girl you loved, the pine trees,
the bumble bees, and, at last,
the fast flowing river of spring that
carries them all far
from the sun.
Then, you must gather
the ashes back somehow,
and make pencils of them. Yellow
pencils that, when carefully
sharpened, you can use
to trace your life,
word by slow word.

R.

NaPoWriMo

2011-03-31T14:12:00.000-06:00

Thirty poems, thirty days. April is National Poetry Month and many have accepted the challenge of writing thirty poems in thirty days to celebrate; i.e., NaPoWriMo.

I've created a seperate blog for these and other poems called "open window press" - follow along as I post good, bad and horrible poems throughout April!

Join in the fun - all you need is a pencil and paper!

Witness

2011-03-28T20:13:00.000-06:00

The woman came sobbing
through the clothing store,
vomiting grief into her phone,
pushed through the throng,
and vanished into the afternoon.
But the source of her anguish -
an unexpected death,
harsh words of a lover -
really, we preferred to speculate.
We finished our coffees.
Clerks folded t-shirts.
Traffic waited at the light.

Did she sob on the subway, then
get off at Times Square?
Did only children risk
looking at her?
If only she had collapsed
right then and there,
we might have rushed to her side,
held her hand, and waited
for the ambulance
while people all around us,
clutching the so dearly bought,
hurried on their way
to that place we never share.

.

NaPoWriMo

2011-03-27T10:37:00.001-06:00

30 poems in 30 days. Yes, It's National Poetry Writing Month in celebration of National Poetry Month. Write 30 poems in 30 days. I'll be posting each and every day. Not saying they'll be any good but it will be fun to let go of perfection and just let the Muse rip! Join me!!!

poem for a new year

2011-03-07T20:32:00.001-07:00

the sun has gone into hiding here in ohio.

the rain walks across
the yard carrying snow
down to the flowers
in their cold beds.

the jagged trees, waiting along the road
for their rides, slowly think,
on the cusp of this new year,
that losing their leaves
in october
was a grave mistake.

they remember no springs.

here, inside, it is warm. the family is
gathered. the extravagant meal
has been eaten. the toast to the new year
given.

the past year is in bed,
past caring, accepting the long sleep
ahead. in hindsight, the year
seems both benign and foolish.

we imbued him with
powers. we wished him
to change our lives. his magic,
a desired con.

but the year ends
mostly as it started.
the spells we threw like dice
have won us nothing.

there is no magic after all.

on the cusp of this new year,
i feel a kinship with the trees
who have forgotten spring,
with the flowers in their deathly slumber.

but with the clocks poised to
leap the chasm,
I sense that one day soon
we will be surprised,
they and I;

so very,
very surprised.

A Winter's Day Hike

2011-02-13T15:48:00.001-07:00

The sun talked to me today through my skin.
The pine trees made small talk about spring with each gust of wind.
The snow whispered to me with each step about the fleetingness of winter.
The water laughed playing in the mud.
The rocks were quiet,

but only because they were thinking.

Ten Things For Which I Am Grateful - Week of January 24

2011-01-24T04:56:00.000-07:00

1. Skiing with Nanny, Charlotte, Brad, Justin, Jill, Ethan, Becky and Cassie at Beaver Creek, CO last weekend.

2. The good doctors at Avon Urgent Care in Avon, CO for treating my skiing related concussion so well!

3. Nanny teaching me how to quilt. Someone's getting a Christmas present...if I have the patience.

4. The sheer stupidity of "Jersey Shore".

5. Being able to use email and Facebook to stay in touch. It gets bad press but it really does keep me in touch with friends and family.

6. Kashi Go Lean Crunch Cereal. Its yummy.

7. Our piano. I can't play but I love fooling around on it anyway.

8.The King's Speech. What a film, what a joy.

9. Having Charlotte in my life. She keeps me sane and grounded.

10. Poetry. I understand it less and enjoy it more than I'll admit.

Bonus Round: Andrew and David. My two sons. Individuals both. Smart as whips. Funny and generous souls who make my life better way more than ten ways.

.

poem for a new year

2010-12-31T16:28:00.000-07:00

the sun has gone into hiding here in ohio.

the rain walks across

the yard and carries the snow

down to the flowers

entombed beneath garden beds.

the jagged trees, waiting along the road

for their rides, slowly think,

on the cusp of this new year,

that losing their leaves

in october

was a grave mistake.

they remember no springs.

here, inside, it is warm. the family is

gathered. the extravagant meal

has been eaten. the toast to the new year

given.

the past year is in bed,

past caring, accepting the long sleep

ahead. in hindsight, the year

seems both benign and foolish.

we imbued him with

powers. we wished him

to change our lives. his magic,

a desired con.

but the year ends

mostly as it started.

the spells we threw like dice

have won us nothing.

there is no magic after all.

on the cusp of this new year,

i feel kinship with those trees

who have forgotten spring,

and the flowers gathering snow

into their shallow tombs.

but with the clocks poised to

leap, and the trees reading the braille of the stars,

I sense that one day we will all still be surprised,

they and I,

so very, very surprised.

...

waiting to land

2010-12-05T11:44:00.001-07:00

you know the drill:
the fasten seatbelt light comes on.
the little announcement:
seats up. tables up. electronics off.

the plane tilts slightly and begins its slow fall
to earth.

out the window.
houses slowly become houses.
trees become trees.
you can see people as well as cars.

the plane begins to slow and drop a little faster –
depending on what airport you are arriving at you fly over
highways, strip malls and apartment buildings from the ‘50s.
there’s always a McDonald’s to be seen.

then you are over the runway
and you can see the magic marker streaks
from all the other planes before you,
which is reassuring.

and then there is that moment -
just before you touch down -
when the pilot throttles back
and the plane becomes quiet.
everything hushed,
engines and people.
everyone floats
and everyone waits
for the jolt and the sound of the rubber
meeting the road.

though it’s just seconds,
it always goes on far longer
than seems possible,
as if the earth had suddenly disappeared
from beneath the plane.

that moment, right there.
that hush, that pause,
has filled my entire life.
my whole life, hanging in the air,

waiting to land.

ignition

2010-12-02T22:10:00.000-07:00

poems live

desperate lives so

fleetingly beautiful that you

hope it’s all a lie.

a deception.

a three card Monte.

poems are streetwalkers,

warm tequila,

shills, depression,

sedation, mania,

exhilaration, blood oaths,

rim-shots,

shoplifters and

thieves. they are liars,

but no more dishonest

than you.

they sleep homeless on sidewalks,

shivering, shivering in their

desperate bid for

revelation.

they are the thin

white lines

that your high-beams

suck from the desert darkness ahead

at eighty-five miles an hour.

they are the word

made ink

and paper.

they are the

incandescent

moment

of ignition.

...

Gratitude

2010-11-29T15:52:00.000-07:00

Today I am grateful for:

1) I enjoy reading. Many people don't but I got lucky in the teacher lottery.
2) I can see. This is a bigger deal than most people thing. What a complex activity. And I had cataract surgery fifteen years ago that worked a miracle.
3) I can walk. Do you get how complicated this is. And how many people would love to just be able to walk someplace...
4) I got a new TV. What can I say, I'm grateful for high def.
5) I got to go skiing last Friday at my favorite ski area...A-Basin!

spinning

2010-11-07T22:04:00.009-07:00

today, the sun was an hour hand;

the moon was Monday.
while dusk crept like a tide into our small church,

we remembered the dead by reading the litany of saints;

the dead heard us and smiled.

a siren went by on its way to save someone.

a child set prayer wheels spinning in Katmandu.

an old woman counted the veins on her hands.

we wrote prayers on small pieces of paper with pencil stubs.

streetlights went green. yellow. red.

a nun’s hands sang the rosary in Vatican City.

thousands swirled around the Kaaba in Mecca.

the bread and wine blessed our hands and mouths.

somewhere tequila was drunk.

we read each prayer aloud since the dead can no longer read.

a Sufi spun in mystic trance in Senegal.

in London, the DJs whirled and the crowds surged.

a murder was committed on a blameless victim in New Orleans.

deadheads twirled round and round their universe.

a drug user was found dead by a general’s statue in a park.

we exchanged a sign of peace between ourselves.
buddhist monks felt the dharma wheel turn in san francisco.

the poor are still with us when the service ends.
our prayers wind their way along their paths,
while the world spins quietly through this night.

- r. russeth

wisdomstorms (sophia)

2010-09-14T22:43:00.002-06:00

she never completes her sentences.
never knits your heart entirely or
gets all the bits of glass out.
never ties up loose ends
or says what she means.

she does not.

still you prayed every morning:

“Find me,” you said
“Wait for me,” you whispered.

until one morning,
with the sun behind swirling ochre clouds,
you woke to find her words dangling
before you on spider threads;

with languid voices -
not truth, but not lies either –
they began:

“beyond all doubt,
all those phone calls that ended in a click,
when phones still did, meant something.”

“or when you were a child, in the middle of the night,
a light clicking on under your bedroom door.
a bright flare in the darkness of your parents’
war of attrition.”

“then, much later of course, the anxiety of hell.
the deep darkness that drove you and drove you
and drove you until the doctor gave in
and saved you -
against your will.”

“even the sideways glance,
that brimmed with kindness,
from the stranger next to you
waiting to cross the avenue in the rain.”

“the prayer you wrote during last Sunday’s service,
which could barely be read aloud,
because you barely knew what to write.”

“dancing across broken sunlight with your lover.”

“the rumor you heard from someone you never (ever) trusted
that turned out to be true.”

“the stranger you would see in front of the salvation army,
weeping, in the mornings.”

“the key you found walking lonely in
the seven-eleven at midnight.
the church at dawn. all the streets in between.”

“the key you hid in the junk drawer -
and forgot.”

“the woman you saw day after day at the diner.
an overheard conversation:
“i’ve looked everywhere for you.” the stranger said.
To which, reaching across the table to touch his hand,
she replied simply, “I’ve always been here.”

“the flickering streetlight,
explaining the dream to you.
the one you keep having over and over.
over water. all that water.”

“the cackle of lightening.
your face pressed against the window pane
watching the birds wheel in the gale,
dodging the words crashing down.”

“a footnote you remember to a story you
no longer recall. all the awkward
pauses of your life.

“all the forgotten truths.
the remembered lies.”

“the unraveling of wordless prayers; the ones
you traced over and over on bars until last call
ended your supplications.”

“but then, in time,
a sense of a slow knitting back of things torn.”

“in time, not visions but places. not hope but people.
not gods but angels.

in time, not one but not two either.”

“until one day,
one day you are surprised
to find yourself holding that key.
to find yourself standing, again, in front of a
quite locked door.”

“but this time, this time the key holds sway,
the door retreats from your sharp thrust.
this time you stumble over its threshold,
this time you fall into Her strong arms, sobbing.
this time, at long last,

you are home.”

In Memoriam: Jim & Jo's

2010-08-31T20:22:00.002-06:00

since 1946,
from a trailer hard by the midway,
jim & jo’s
have proudly sold their chili dogs
at the minnesota state fair.

limeade is the only drink served – and is
“made with spring water”.

while the midway has lost its burlesque, its freak show, and even it's fat lady –
jim and jo’s have soldiered on
in a crusade against… bad chili dogs.

this may be more noble than it sounds.

foot longs with everything: chili, cheese, onions.
you may add ketchup and mustard
if you must-
but jim & jo won’t.

in the same way a
London barkeep once refused me a “black and tan”
years ago – “take your bleedin’ tourist ass else-a-where’s.”

there is only condiment proudly offered is Tabasco;
the one and only god worshiped here at jim & jo’s.
one god that has not abandoned us -
that revels in pain as pleasure,
that knows Eve
knew not
and doesn’t care.

Oh Tabasco! you bastard, you
sideshow shill, you huckster extraordinaire,
bless this frank.

Jim, grinning through a fat cloud of foul cigar smoke,
perched in his aluminum rig,
surveys his supplicants,
and, wiping his greasy hands on his pants,
counts all the chili stains
bleeding down our t-shirts

as tithes.

- richard russeth

Urban Servant Corps Charity Dinner

2010-08-12T21:28:00.001-06:00

The executive director of the Urban Servant Corps made the high bid for a dinner with the Russeths in a charity auction to benefit Urban Servant Corps. Here's what we are serving them this Saturday:

APPETIZERS AT THE PORCH SWING

Fruit And Fresh Herb Carafe

(fresh fruit, herbs, vodka and prosecco)

Roasted Peppers Stuffed With Feta

Goat Cheese With Sun-Dried Tomatoes

Country Bread

DINNER IN THE DINING ROOM

Chilled Avocado Soup

Orange Fennel Salad

Arugula Salad With Shaved Parmesan

Lemon Risotto Cakes

Grilled Asparagus with Ladolemono

DESSERT IN THE TREEHOUSE

Creme Brulee

Bellini Sorbet

Hope you bid next year!!

According to a computer analysis...

2010-08-05T19:57:00.002-06:00

I write like
James Joyce

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

chicago cubs

2010-08-05T14:18:00.009-06:00

its hard to talk about faith
without going all hallmark.

keep the faith, have faith, what the faith.
and because its hard, we fall into clichés.
we all know whether we have it
we just can’t explain it.

when i am alone
i dance like a crazy man;
a Rastafarian madman,
and wish i had dreads.
but i always check
to make sure no one is watching –
faith is the opposite of that, i think.

unlocked doors in the middle of the city.
open windows in a thunderstorm.
falling in love, the second time.
corn in the fields.
rain.
laundry hung outdoors.
planting trees.

giving when you are broke.
caring when you hurt.
getting up again.

but in the end, i think
faith is just a chicago cubs fan,

waiting for jesus on the mound.

RQR

raised (luke 7:11–17)

2010-06-05T23:17:00.003-06:00

whenever Jesus raises someone
from the dead in the gospels,
I always wonder what that person did
the next day.

did they quit their job?

were they grateful?
were others jealous?
were they believed?

did they get a haircut,
hug their children,
their lover or their parents?

did they still quarrel with their
neighbors, drink too much,
harbor resentments,
or wish they were
smarter?

did they stop
beating their servants?

did they talk about it -
or was there just no explaining?

did they fear death any longer –
or was the mystery now

only greater?

last pitch

2010-04-20T23:07:00.004-06:00

funny how growing up catholic
(or anything I guess)
you hear the same stories
over and over until you
don’t hear them anymore. maybe
you never heard them, even though you
were right there the whole time.

the nuns were a fairly literal bunch.
when jesus fed the multitudes with
bread and fish from just five loaves
and two fish. that’s just exactly what he did.
a holy concession stand he was,
he never ran out of food
before the last pitch with the runners running.

but now when I read of that vast crowd
on the darkening shores of the Sea of Galilee,
I see jesus looking out over that dusty,
hungry and tired multitude with a gleam in his eye.
I hear him snicker when his disciples
say “send the crowds away we don’t have enough to feed everyone.”

he blesses the bread with his rough hands.
he touches the eyes of the fish and knows the net that caught it.
the disciples gave them to the crowds.
I suppose he sits quietly and watches;
we don’t know if he ate, do we?

but in all the multitude there was not
one person called out by jesus. he did not
tell his disciples “this one, but not her. ”

there must have been widows listening,
a leper or two. a tax collector.
a fool. an atheist.
but no one was turned away.
not even those clever enough to have brought a picnic.
you got bread whether you wanted it or not.
every seeker was found.
every enemy partook.
jesus fed everyone.

no one was turned away.

messengers

2010-04-13T15:02:00.004-06:00

this day is leaden.

a breeze of pine and birdsong
trembles at my open window.
the trees are taut and poised
for a spring that is yet far from here.

the teakettle gurgles its high song
while waiting for me. the old snows are disappearing into earth
and sky; now one thing and then another.

on gray days like this
one wonders about angels, at least I do.
not Gabriel or Michael,
but the unknown legions of others treading lightly.
speaking so softly that only God can hear;
but what can they tell Him that He does not already know?

what did they tell
from Haiti
from beneath the tsunami
from Mardi Gras
parliament, the oval office
or the wildflower cafe when
I added cream to my coffee?

if they are here to tell us something,
if they be messengers, then let them speak
more clearly than the winds,
which at the very least tell me from whence they come.

with angels, we are simply left to wrestle
with their silent witness.
as mute as stars
and just as distant.

if they are now the strangers at my door,
and after inviting them in,
I pour the tea for us,

will they just stare into the distance
sipping slowly, nodding appreciation -

or, when I offer sugar,
will they politely touch my hand,
shrug their shoulders, and,
pulling their cloaks a bit tighter,
turn to whisper urgently to someone

just out of sight?

agape

2010-04-03T08:13:00.007-06:00

it will be a long night
with this feast
of fish, olives, wine and bread;
their sweet aromas are mingling with
the smoke of the flickering candles.

good to sit with my brothers.

jesus, our holy fool,
is on his knees before me
washing my feet, gently.
i do not know why he bothers to
humiliate himself this way.

as usual, he is being
opaque in his words. the wine
makes it yet harder. would that he
would just once say what he means.

parables!

he dries my worn, tired, dirty feet
as if there were nothing more precious.

the meal is amazing. i do not know who
baked this bread, but she must be celebrated.

jesus lectures us on what we must do when he
is gone. he speaks of love.
all i know is we are itinerant preachers, poor as dust, followed
by rabble that wouldn’t know a torah from a sandal.
just why exactly am i this man’s disciple?

down the table i see thomas nodding off.
james and john are arguing about that
damnable pilate. rome did us no favors with
that buffoon.

still, i feel content. but
judas is petulant -
looking like he wants to smack
jesus for those foolish words
of betrayal. the next time i look, he is gone.

and, after that crowing cock crack
from jesus, peter has become sullen
and sits by the fire alone.

the musicians have left. the servants as well.
the dishes will be cleared away tomorrow I guess.

jesus puts his cloak on
and announces we must go to gethsemane.

we grumble. why we have to
go to the garden in the middle of the night,
when decent men should be in their beds,
is anyone’s guess.

outside it is dark and cold
and no one can find judas.

prophets (luke 10:28)

2010-01-28T20:13:00.014-07:00

prophets awake exhausted from their dreams. their beds soaked in sweat.

with the ebbing fever of their visions still ringing in their ears,
they arise each morning in love anew with our broken world.
while we, fearing the wounded, the other, the lost, make the sign of the Cross
and send the world away in the collection plate.

blessed are the prophets’ eyes for they see and their ears for they hear:
those in love. those crushed by debt. by earthquakes.
those with child. those with enough. the wedding banquet.

the killing fields.

they taste the sweetness and the sweet bitterness of this life.
they see the glory in the least of things. they hear the poor,
no matter how loudly the pharisees might rage.
they see the oppressed, no matter how well their ghettos are hidden.

in the thin space between heartbeats, between the threads of the veil of the temple,
between the last breath and the dying, here is where prophets harvest their words.
yet, when they feed the starving, we call them deluded.
when they bear witness, we call them liars.
what they taste and declare to be sweet, we spit out as poison.

little honor is there for prophets, and I am not a prophet, but if I were
I might speak these words to you:

“Why are you here?”

I might say to you: “Did God cradle you in your mother’s womb
just so you could be born and repent of your sins?”

I might say to you: “Did He give you life just so you could have your demons cast out?”

If I were a prophet, I might say to you: “In this perfectly broken world,
you must see that which strives to be hidden,
hear those voices others would deny,
taste the bitterness of the forgotten,
and yet love all of it without exception,
as if your life depended upon it –

because it does.”

.

Biggest Fish I Will Ever See

2010-01-14T20:38:00.005-07:00

At House for All, as part of the liturgy, someone reads a poem each Sunday. Different people pick the poems we use and sometimes someone from church will even write the poem just for the particular service. This past Sunday was the Baptism Of Our Lord, and I was asked to pick a poem for the service. No one is too strict about the poem fitting exactly into the subject at hand, lots of poetic license so to speak. Sometimes its hard to find a poem, but in this case one just fell into my lap from the Winter 2009 issue of The Paris Review.

This is the most wonderful poem about baptism, the Eucharist and faith. I am leery of analyzing any poem because the analysis often destroys the power, mystery and spirit of a poems. Poems have to be taken as a whole like a shot of booze. Sipping it ain't the point. So before I destroy this poem, let's read it together shall we?

Biggest Fish I Will Ever See by Jessica Fordham Kidd

Biggest fish I will ever see,
men caught you
and hung your death
on a tree by the river.
That night I slept in a huge bed
on a screen porch.
I heard your skull talking,
and in their skulls
the men heard you too.
No one knows exactly what you said
and continue to say.
Your bones are long gone.
The nail that held you
remains to be swallowed up
by years of bark.
It is all just water.
I believe that's what I heard -
It is all just water -
the reason it feels so good
to swim in dark rivers.
Why men eat fish that felt that good.
Why people put their wet mouths together.
The reason I know what you said
even though my ears are full of air.

Now that we've read it together, I've decided that I'm not going to dissect it, analyze it or destroy it. It is too wonderful to cut out its heart. To beautiful to burn at the alter of logic.

So, what are you waiting for? Read it again.

Namaste.

Magic and the Invisible Fence

2010-01-04T16:42:00.009-07:00

We have a wonderful mountain dog named Magic. He's coming up on two years old. He's well-trained, affectionate and lives like a King on our one acre lot in the Rockies.

When we got him, we did not want to build a fence around our lot due to cost and aesthetics. So, we got an Invisible Fence instead. For those who don't know what that is: you bury a wire all around the perimeter of your yard and then run a current through it. You place a special collar around your dog's neck that gives him a little electric shock if he gets too close to the wire. With a little training, the dog learns where the wire is and not to cross it. Magic, like many dogs, has learned this lesson so well that we don't even need to put the collar on him anymore. In other words, we've conditioned him to accept the limits of our yard.

I thought about all this as I was driving into work today after an extended holiday vacation. I wondered if I had a collar on - if I had learned my limits? Perhaps so well that I didn't need my collar anymore? Do I keep to my lot and think that I am King of all I survey? Never venturing beyond the boundaries I just assume are there? Accepting the boundaries placed on me?

I'm sure that the collar assumes many forms. Conformity, of course. Meeting others expectations. Naturally. Getting ahead. Materialism. Consumerism. Keeping up with the Joneses. Knowing your place. Cultural norms. Customs. Traditions. Body image. Gender identity. Queer. Straight. Sexuality. Power. Control. Fear. The list goes on and on.

What keeps you and me from living as our authentic selves?

What false sense of limitation keeps you on your lot? What boundaries do you accept?

What does your collar look like?

Namaste.

Magnificat (Luke 1:46-55)

2009-12-17T21:54:00.013-07:00

[This post was inspired by a question from Pastor Nadia this morning]

"He hath filled the hungry with good things;
and the rich he hath sent empty away."

We sang the Magnificat (Luke 1:46-55) last night as part of Holden Evening Vespers at St. Paul's Lutheran Church. One wonders how one should take the Magnificat since here we are at Christmas once again, and, again, the poor are still poor, the hungry are still hungry and the undeservedly exalted have not yet been brought low. I suppose its a question of whether the Magnificat is to be taken literally, allegorically or hopefully.

It's the eternal question of why God allows evil to exist, suffering to occur and bad things to happen to good people. And not just for a little while but since time immemorial. And I've got nothing. Pastor Nadia once said during Bible study in the basement of the Thin Man Bar that anyone who claims to have an answer for the question of why God allows suffering is a liar.

So here stands Mary. A living answer. Pregnant with hope.

And she says to her cousin Elizabeth (my emphasis):

"Because he hath regarded the humility of his handmaid;
for behold from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.
Because he that is mighty,
hath done great things to me;
and holy is his name.
And his mercy is from generation unto generations..." (Luke 1:46-50)

Perhaps, henceforth, all generations will be blessed with the possibilities that Christ presents to the World. And don't forget that John the Baptist is present at this encounter! Two women pregnant with God and the one who will recognize him as such - these two women will cause the World to be turned on its head. God could have just, you know, appeared in the World. But instead He took the hard way into the World. A way that isn't easy for Mary or Jesus, mother or child, or any of us for that matter.

Each year and every year, we see suffering and hunger and the undeserving mighty exalted (Karzai of Afghanistan, Wall St., insurance companies, Kelly Clarkson and so on). But each year Christ, and so too our hope, is reborn each Christmas Eve. Year after year. Not because we blindly believe against all reason but because we trust and hope that God will ultimately deliver on the promise of the innocent child He became one night long ago.

Karen Armstrong in her book "The Case For God" spends a good chunk of it talking about why the words "believe" or "belief" as used in the Bible may not be the best possible translation of the original words. Before that damnable Constantine, when people used the word we now translate as "belief" and its relatives, they really meant something more akin to "trust" rather than "belief" as we use it.

So I trust anew in the innocent child.

Every single year.

Namaste.

[Image is by Sister Mary Grace Thul, OP]

Charter For Compassion

2009-12-10T21:48:00.002-07:00

In Memory of Daido Roshi (1931-2009)

2009-10-11T14:14:00.005-06:00

John Daido Loori
came home from the Korean war
via Japan.

lost his soul
to the Buddha and
became a Zen master,
but that was much later.

moved to Mt. Trempler, NY,
bought an old church,
lit some incense,
made it a monastery,
slept in a leaky vestibule
with two followers,
sat zazen always -

even when he was smoking the cigarettes
that finally killed him last Friday.

I am sure he was not surprised
by that slow ambush.

he had tea with death every day.

he understood
with the clearness
of a cold lake.

earlier today, they scattered his ashes in the garden
by the cottage where he lived his last days,

and where, come spring, they will cut flowers
to offer the Buddha on the main alter.

I once asked him why place flowers before
our graven Buddhas of rock or wood.

“explanations never really explain” he said,
and this was, i think, his way of saying -

“just live your life.”

.

French Potage with Pistou

2009-10-03T08:42:00.004-06:00

OK Gang. Here's a great, easy, delicious soup for one of those cloudy fall days when old man winter can't decide whether to stay or go. We had it this week and the recipe lasted for two days. Wonderful with a chunk of solid bread and a big piece of sharp cheddar cheese.

Soup:

2 Tbs. unsalted butter
3 medium leeks (white and pale green parts medium finely chopped (about 5 cups)
1/3 cup dry white wine
5 medium potatoes - russet works but I like gold
6 medium carrots, chopped
5 cloves garlic, minced.
1 Tbs. fresh thyme or 1 tsp. dried
1 Large bay leaf
4 cups vegetable broth
2 cups water

1-3 tsp. truffle oil (to taste)

Pistou:

1 cup firmly packed basil leaves
1/4 cup walnuts (toasted is nice but not essential)
2 cloves garlic
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil

What To Do:

1. Melt butter in pan over medium heat.
2. Add leeks and a 1/2 tsp. of sea salt.
3. Cover and cook util leeks are softened. Stir often. Maybe 6 or 7 minutes.
4. Add wine and garlic. Cook uncovered until the wine is mostly evaporated.
5. Add carrot, potato, thyme, bay leaf, broth and water. Cover and bring to a boil...reduce heat and simmer for 35 minutes (until everything is really soft).
6. Remove bay leaf. Add one tsp of truffle oil. Purree in batches in blender or processor or use an immersion blender until smooth. Season with pepper (unless you used low sodium vegetable broth, it probably doesn't need salt). Add a little more water if its too thick. It should be on the thick side of creamy not the creamy side of thick. Taste and add more truffle oil if you like!
7. While all that is cooking you can make the pistou in your processor (hard to do in a blender). Drop the garlic into the running processor. Scrap down. Add the basil and walnut. Pulse to combine. Add oil and blend until smooth. Salt and pepper to taste.

To Serve:

1. Place a dollop (a Tbsp or so) in the bottom of each deep bowl. Ladle 2 cups of hot soup over top to cover the pistou. Sprinkle with a little fresh thyme if you have any. Serve.
2. Your guest then stir the soup to mix in the pistou.
3. Bread and cheese board on the side.

Toast!

First Snow 2009

2009-09-21T17:47:00.003-06:00

It won't last of course but fun to see the first real snow of the season! As far as I can tell we've got more than just about anyone so far.

Pasta with Corn and Asparagus

2009-09-10T19:03:00.005-06:00

Dinner tonight was corn and asparagus with pasta. Fresh corn stripped off the cob. Fresh asparagus. Mostaccioli pasta. So delicious it still seemed like an August afternoon rather than a chill September evening!

4 ears of corn
1 bunch of asparagus
3/4 pound of mostaccioli pasta
Olive oil
Salt/Pepper to taste
Tablespoon dried oregano
3 cloves of garlic minced
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1/2 teaspoon dried dill
Dash of ground dried thyme
1/4 cup of white wine
Vegetarian bouillon cubes.

1. Strip the corn off the cob. Cook in a little olive oil, salt and pepper until almost done. Remove from heat.
2. Cut asparagus into 1/2 inch or shorter pieces. Cook in the boiling pasta water until just heated through. Drain and rinse with very cold water until chilled.
3. Add pasta to water (add bouillon cubes to make a broth to cook the pasta in) and cook according to package directions. Add a little olive oil to the water!
4. Heat a few tablespoons of olive oil in a big saute pan. Add the corn and bring to a simmer. Add the garlic, oregano, red pepper flakes, dill and pepper to taste. Stir to prevent browning.
5. When corn is heated through add the wine and bring back to a simmer
6. Add the asparagus and stir and shake until its heated through.
7. Hold until pasta is ready. Drain pasta (reserve a little liquid) and add to the corn asparagus mixture. Toss and shake until its all heated through. Add a little of the reserved liquid if it seems a dry.
8. Serve.

Namaste.

Hiking Gray's Peak

2009-08-11T00:52:00.005-06:00

Had a great time hiking to the top of Gray's Peak on Saturday (an official Colorado 14ner!) with friends from church (www.houseforall.org). Some lovely fotos were taken by our expedition photographer (more on Facebook). On the bottom of the pile is Bill, then moi, to my left is Victoria, to the right is John and above is the photographer herself Sheralee. Charlotte was MIA due to her Mom's illness but Nanny is out of the hospital and doing well. We all expect Charlotte along on the next trek!!

Stand By Me

2009-08-09T21:07:00.000-06:00

Chilled Curried Coconut Corn Soup

2009-07-31T13:55:00.005-06:00

Fresh corn in an Amish market in OH today. Here is a picture of Nanny and me shucking it.

But what to do with it. Sure we'll eat some of it with lots of butter and salt but for a little more adventure may I suggest this marvelous soup!

Ingredients:

Five ears of corn, shucked.
5 tablespoons minced cilantro
1/2 cup finely diced red onion
1 tablespoon butter
1/2 tsp ground turmeric
1 tsp ground coriander
1/2 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp garam masala or mild curry
Salt/Pepper
1 tbsp flour
1 can coconut milk (13.5 oz)
Juice of one or two limes (to taste)

Method

1. Cut the kernels off the cob.
2. Scrap the cobs with the dull side of a knife to get out the "milk".
3. Break up the cobs and add to 5 cups of water with chopped cilantro stems, red onion trimmings and simmer for at least 30 minutes. Strain.
4. Heat the butter and cook the onion until soft but not brown.
5. Add the spices and stir for a bit.
6. Stir in flour, then coconut milk, and the corn, milk and scrapings. Bring to a simmer.
7. Add 1 tsp. salt and 1/2 tsp pepper ( I like lots more actually).
8. Add cilantro and 1.5 cups of the strained "stock."
9. Bring to a simmer and cook for 10 minutes. If too thick add more of the "stock" until you get a consistency you like.
10. Puree a cup of the soup in the blender for a minute and then add back to the pot.
11. Add the juice of one lime.
12. Stir and adjust seasonings.

Cool. Refrigerate until cold.
Serve with a sprinkle of chopped cilantro and a swirl of plain yogurt on each serving.

Deeeelishious.

Namaste.

Rob Bell Makes Me Want To Be Reality Fierce!

2009-07-21T11:21:00.003-06:00

I've always liked Rob Bell. Sometimes more than others but his style and insight is really compelling, more often that not. His book "Velvet Elvis" got me on the path of following Jesus. This video has Rob talking about the Good News and how that message is based communicated by example, not laws. Great stuff.

one perfect day (mark 6:53-56)

2009-07-19T21:32:00.002-06:00

I've rewritten this poem about a dozen times and finally got to read it during service today at House For All Sinners and Saints. It was a bluegrass service to boot!

__________________________________________________________
one perfect day (mark 6:53-56)

i walk into intensive care

and see my sister lying under
crisp white sheets.
a dozen beeping monitors gathered
closely around her bed.

i sit down.

she is still but waltzes.
she rushes to the respirator, then steps back.
she flows with the whirring dialysis and then pirouettes
around her suitor.

i daydream.

i watch her breathe for hours. the nurses come and go, i touch
the hems of their white skirts. they do not turn about.
the night nurse touches my sister’s brow
with a cool cloth. she does not stir.

i feed dollars to the coke machine at 2 AM.

we sleep on sofas in the family waiting rooms.
we wait for the doctor to tell us something. “she is no better,” he says
“she is growing worse.” as he leaves, i touch
his clothes. he does not turn about.

we go home to our beds.

the stars come out.
they orbit her.
she breathes them in.
she is in her bed but far away,
climbing mountains beyond mountains.

the nights come and go.

we lie awake. we are still.
we listen to the snow as it covers the prairie with sleep.
we wait for it to cover us. grateful for its soft numbing cold.
we fold our hands. we wait.

we bargain.

in her deep chemical sleep,
does she feel my fingers on her forehead? does she dream?
does she listen in on our unspoken prayers?
does she dream of the one perfect day she'd like to have

if she wakes up?

will she remember the god with whom she laughed
about all our fleeting lives?
did she ask for her one perfect day?

the one with sun on water, children and husband, song and dance?

did she grasp at the fringe of his cloak?
did he turn to her then, just as he was fading?
and was that the very same moment
that she at last opened her eyes

and looked so puzzled?

august 6

2009-07-15T00:06:00.007-06:00

the light
that instantly
prevented
every
chance to turn away.

the searing
pain
just before
ashes.

how the earth
believed itself
shot.

vast forests of
memories
vanished.

vast futures
now unattainable.

worlds lost.

Delusion and Enlightenment

2009-07-13T21:58:00.001-06:00

Too lazy to be ambitious,
I let the world take care of itself.
Ten days' worth of rice in my bag;
a bundle of twigs by the fireplace.
Why chatter about delusion and enlightenment?
Listening to the night rain on my roof,
I sit comfortably, with both legs stretched out.

-Ryokan

zen christians unite

2009-07-10T21:45:00.000-06:00

Visit Zen Christians

one perfect day (mark 6:53-56)

2009-07-08T21:22:00.003-06:00

i walk into intensive care

and see my sister lying under
crisp white sheets.
the beeping monitors around her bed
playing a chamber piece of uncertain meter.

i sit down.

she is still but waltzes.
she rushes to the respirator, then steps back.
she flows with the whirring dialysis and then pirouettes
around her suitor.

i daydream.

i watch her breathe for hours. the nurses come and go, i touch
the hems of their white skirts. they do not turn about.
the night nurse touches my sister’s brow
with a cool cloth. she does not stir.

i feed dollars to the coke machine at 2 AM.

we sleep on sofas in the family waiting rooms.
we wait for the doctor to tell us something. “she is no better,” he says
“she is growing worse.” as he leaves, i touch
his clothes. he does not turn about.

we go home to our beds.

the stars come out.
they orbit her.
she breathes them in.
she is in her bed but far away,
climbing mountains beyond mountains.

the nights come and go.

we lie awake. we are still.
we listen to the snow as it covers the prairie with sleep.
we wait for it to cover us. grateful for its soft numbing cold.
we fold our hands. we wait.

we bargain.

in her deep chemical sleep,
does she feel my fingers on her forehead? does she dream?
does she listen in on our unspoken prayers?
does she dream of the one perfect day she'd like to have

if she wakes up?

will she remember the god with whom she laughed
about all our fleeting lives?
did she ask for her one perfect day?

the one with sun on water, children and husband, song and dance?

did she grasp at the fringe of his cloak?
did he turn to her then, just as he was fading?

and was that the very same moment

that she at last opened her eyes

and looked so puzzled?

namaste.

Bible Verse Fave Of The Week

2009-06-23T22:11:00.012-06:00

The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul that seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. Lamentations 3:25-26

I wait. I seek. I am quiet. As for salvation, I am quiet...

I sit zazen. Shikantaza.

For a long time, I did not sit zazen or sat only occasionally with no particular regularity. Then, in trying to follow Jesus, I tried praying (and still try) but there is a lot of noise and distraction in Christianity! Singing. Preaching. Prayers. Twitter. Facebook. Hard to hear or sense God sometimes. Plus I never know what to say and besides I'm probably interrupting something Very Important.

So, I have returned to zazen.

Not because I'm trying to work out my own salvation as Paul discussed in Philippians 2:12: "...work out your own salvation with fear and trembling" nor as the Buddha stressed in his final words before his final nirvana: "work out your own salvation with diligence" (Though other translations read: "Work hard to gain your own salvation." (wait...Paul and Buddha?)), but because I need the silence. The awareness of shikantaza. God seems to be in the spaces between my thoughts. Or maybe more accurately, in the simple awareness between my thoughts.

When I pray or think about God I put myself in the way. When I sit zazen, I get out the way. I don't know that I hear God, but at least I stop talking to myself.

As the Buddha said: "You cannot travel the path until you become the path itself."

Or, to put it another way, you cannot hear God until you shut up.

Namaste.

rain

2009-06-21T20:53:00.007-06:00

the thunder comes first,
and wakes me from
my reading.

just up the valley, i can
see white curtains
of rain fluttering in the wind.

the first drops are so tentative,
leaving little marks in the dust
on the deck. just tiptoeing
across that stage.

then the deluge comes, the
entire ballet all at once,
washing away all
the warmth of the day.

then rain settles in
for the long haul -
like our black dog does for a nap -
first slumping down and then
stretching out sideways on the hardwood floor.

the rain
falls and falls
and falls
until sleep spreads across the day.

the yellow flowers,
just to the side
of the garden pond,
bend under the
weight of the water.

their thirst quenched
in a way the pond

will never know.

Namaste.

Fresh Herb Risotto: Summer On A Plate

2009-06-20T18:24:00.007-06:00

Didn't exactly seem like the first day of summer at our house today (rain/60 degrees) BUT enjoying this Fresh Herb Risotto made us feel all summery anyways!

7 cups veggie stock
4 garlic cloves, minced
2 cups FINELY chopped herbs (parsley, chives and arugula were my choices)
2 tbsp. olive oil
1 med. onion, finely chopped.
Salt
1 1/2 cups arborio rice
1/2 cup white wine (some like dry, I like Riesling)
Fresh ground pepper
1 tbsp. lemon juice
1 tsp fresh minced lemon zest
1/2 freshly grated parmesan (splurge on the good stuff, it does make a difference)

1. Combine the herbs with one of the minced cloves in a small bowl. Add a grind of pepper.
2. Heat your stock so its hot but not simmering.
3. Heat the olive oil and add the onion. Cook stirring constantly until soft. Do not brown!
4. Stir in the rice, garlic and onion. Stir until well mixed and add the wine. Cook until the wine is absorbed.
5. Add the stock in ladlefuls (1/2 cup or so at a time) and stir until absorbed. Repeat. After about 20 or 25 min the rice should be done and you should have a 1/2 cup or so of stock left.
6. Stir in the herbs, pepper, lemon zest and juice and cheese.
7. Remove from heat and stir until everything is nicely incorporated. If it seems a little thick add stock until it seems creamy but not at all runny.
8. Serve immediately with a little minced herbs and lemon zest on top.

Serves 4.

A nice variation is to add a 1/2 cup of fresh shelled and cooked peas at the last minute along with everything else!

Namaste!

parable

2009-06-16T23:31:00.008-06:00

in church this week,
charlotte read my poem out
loud as part of the liturgy,

which was, like the poem,
a flawed attempt to describe
the unseen.

“he did not speak to them except in parables.”

it was disconcerting to watch charlotte
take my words by the hand,
and guide them through the church,
one by one, like small children.

in a voice as steady as rain,
she spoke of denial and loss -
how bitter they lie on our tongues –
and redemption.

“they ... may indeed listen, but not understand”

words have meanings - many found in webster’s -
though for poets and prophets there
are always meanings known only to them.
ciphers that beg the listener
to bestow coins of understanding into
their tiny, outstretched hands.

“but he explained everything in private to his disciples.”

“words are not just words,” He must have said to them,
“they have consequences.”
something
poets already know, and whether prophet or poet,
we will admit, in private at least,
that all poems are, without fail, prayers
beseeching god to restore

what we never had.

on being denied the eucharist (for r. pater)

2009-06-12T06:27:00.012-06:00

when prophets are denied,
as they so often are,
they shake the dust from their sandals
and board when their rows are called.

watching from your plane, you see
the mountains shepherd the sunset into darkness.
lightning drives cracks into the midnight sky.
just for a moment the vast forest
is there -
a revelation
followed by thunder that rolls away
like a resurrection.

when a wind comes hurling accusations
against your plane, the trees huddled
on the mountainside suddenly seem
alarmingly close.

in denver, brushing tears
from your eyes, you exit the plane, and
discover you were never in
any real danger after all

for in a room at the airport,
in a gathering of two or three,
the bread and wine are
freely given to you
so that the darkness is pierced,

and through this wound in the sky,

the moon rises.

-------------------------------
Visit sarcastic lutheran to read the post that inspired the poem.

Namaste.

the virtues of being sick

2009-06-10T17:07:00.009-06:00

being sick with a cold is not without its virtues

for example – time slows down to a manageable pace
and tea seemingly stays hot
for a much longer time.

your bed feels more comfortable.

sleep lays heavier on you,
so to get up is a struggle -
one you therefore avoid.

a sunny day is lovely
but a cloudy one is nurturing.

the sound of raindrops
provide a steady rhythm
to the doing of nothing.

laziness is not just accepted
but required.

one can make grandiose plans
without any need to actually
do anything at all.

books are hard work
so magazines become the sandbox of choice.

and nothing ever tastes so good as
a piece of toast
with a little butter and jam
and a spot of tea does
when you have a cold.

but perhaps best,
if you lose your voice,
you don’t have to justify

your silence.

Namaste.

My Zombie Project

2009-06-02T21:25:00.007-06:00

Taking dinner with my stepson Brad and Charlotte at the Avenue on 17th (terrible food!) this evening after Leonard Cohen at Red Rocks got canceled due to a little rain. He'd had a meeting this afternoon with someone pushing a zombie flick script. He doesn't want to get involved 'cause it might interfere with his zombie flick script he's working on [background: Brad is a budding producer in L.A.]. I said "You have a zombie project?" Brad says: "Everyone has a zombie project in the works." I said: "I gotta get me a zombie project..."

Inspiration strikes, EUREKA (though I did not shout this out during dinner) - Gospel Zombies. Its a band. Its a movie. Its a line of clothing.

It's a book about unthinking adherence to any set of religious beliefs!

I am so proud of myself. Home I go to begin writing the best damn self-righteous holier than thou up on my high horse and looking down at you book ever written on the topic of intolerant believers (a/k/a far right fundies). But just to be sure I google "Gospel Zombies" and discover - crap - its been done. As a band anyway or album title.

All the good band names really are taken...

So now I'm thinking Zombie Pastors... Zombie Monks... Ah, shit, Gospel Zombies would have been sooooo great...

Namaste.

Empty

2009-06-02T15:00:00.001-06:00

Searching for words, hunting for phrases,
When will it end?
Esteeming knowledge and gathering information,
Only maddens the spirit.
Just entrust yourself to your own nature,
Empty and illuminating
Beyond this, I have nothing to teach.

- Bankei (1622-1693)

Sending Postcards To The Buddha

2009-05-29T21:42:00.005-06:00

in my rush to follow jesus
i have forgotten to send postcards
to buddha, which he likes.

mona lisa master.
his serene smile. his amused eyes.

empty mind
prayer on his still lips.

unlike the letters I write jesus
the postcards are best left blank
except for the address:

buddha,
jack pine tree
end of long dusty road
far up the mountain

novelty photos
or landscapes or miniature golf
courses with odd themes are
favorites.

in upstate new york, years ago,
i saw a small buddha statute
observing the ninth hole of a
putt-putt.
after all,
enlightenment
can come at a stroke...

under the bright lights that click on
at sunset, no doubt jesus could beat
the final “free game” hole
without cheating,
while buddha would keep an honest score.

after, on the long drive home,
they would smoke cigarettes,

listen to Elvis
on far away AM stations,
and sing along:

“...Please don’t ask me what’s on my mind
i’m a little mixed up, but i’m feelin’ fine...”

Namaste.

Bible Verse Fave Of The Week

2009-05-19T20:26:00.005-06:00

While I was with them, I protected them in your name that you have given me. I guarded them, and not one of them was lost except the one destined to be lost, so that the scripture might be fulfilled. - John 17:12 (NRSV)

I always feel bad for Judas.

He was "destined" to be lost to fulfill scripture.

30 pieces of silver was a trifling sum; the mere cost of compensation to one whose slave has been killed.

For the author Jorge Francisco Isidoro Luis Borges Acevedo, it is Judas who gives the greater sacrifice. In the story "Three Version of Judas" Borges' says: "The ascetic, for the greater glory of God, degrades and mortifies the flesh; Judas did the same with the spirit. He renounced honour, good, peace, the Kingdom of Heaven, as others, less heroically, renounced pleasure."

Did Judas act without desire for personal gain, I mean thirty pieces of silver - come on - and sacrifice everything for the Logos? Body? Spirit? Soul? Is that possible? He dies in a variety of ways depending on which Gospel account you read, and likely is damned for either his betrayal or suicide...which hardly seems just in either case... or did he?

Was Judas simply made up out of whole cloth?

Theologian Aaron Saari contends "Mark 16:14 and Luke 24:33 state that following his resurrection Jesus appeared to "the eleven." Who was missing? After all that had transpired one would just naturally think it was Judas. Apparently not, because in John 20:24 we learn that the one missing was Thoms. Therefore the eleven had to include Judas. To further confuse things,, Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15:5 that following his resurrection Jesus was seen by “the twelve.” This had to include Judas because it wasn't until after the ascension, some forty days after the resurrection (Acts 1:3), that another person, Matthias, was voted in to replace Judas (Acts 1:26). So, apparently Judas neither committed suicide nor died by accident. In Acts 1:25 we are told that Judas "turned aside to go to his own place." [copied from Wikipedia "Judas Iscariot"]

If he is simply cut from the cloth of the Old Testament, why bother? If he is a historical disciple, why the various modes of death and Gospel ambiguities? And if he was necessary to fulfill the scriptures - why is this sacrifice a sin? Why would Christ's death not atone for even this?

I'm not saying the Gospel isn't true...

I'm just sayin'...

Namaste.

other

2009-05-16T18:40:00.003-06:00

in the moment

when the bread and wine become

other,
something is made whole,

and we take it,

hoping it is us.

Namaste.

Holy Doubt

2009-05-12T23:47:00.008-06:00

The basement of St. Mark’s coffee house was filled with Holy Doubt tonight.

We were reading from Acts, 1 John and John.

But it was John 15:16 that set the Spirit free and the debate poured out and flooded the basement. Here’s the Scripture that set off the debate about prayer, whether it works and why we pray: “...the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name.”

This promise of God granting our prayers occurs again and again in the Gospels.

“If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” - John 15:7

“If in my name you ask me for anything, I will do it.” - John 14:14

And so on. You can look up the others on your own, I’m sure.

One woman spoke of her mother dying of cancer. One man spoke of runaway children not returning. One spoke of fear that doesn't go away. And I could not help but think of my Mother’s suicide. All spoke of prayer and prayers not answered.

Yet, we all still pray though no one thought it quite worked like Jesus promised it would. But what did he promise? Is Jesus a liar? Deluded? Mistaken? No one thought any of those things either. But what then?

I am sure that there are lots of clever explanations for the dichotomy between what Jesus pretty clearly promises on a multitude of occasions, and what He actually appears to deliver. Is it a dichotomy? Were the cancer, suicide, fear, and runaway child God’s will? If not, whose was it?

Still, we pray. We even prayed at the end of BYOB Bible Study. We asked for things to be done, be undone, to happen or not happen.

Did Jesus mean God is a cosmic Santa Claus? That God is just an extra special episode of “I Dream Of Jeannie?”

Or does He only answers prayers that are good for you or accord with his will as 1 John 5:14-15 seems to suggest:

“And this is the boldness we have in him, that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have obtained the requests made of him.”

So if I pray what He wants me to pray He'll give me what He wanted to give me in the first place. If so, what's the point? Does this mean when someone asks Him to cure their cancer and He doesn’t, it’s because this is not in accord with His will? That’s just mean. Isn’t it?

So why do we pray anyway? Despite it all?

I think because not praying is unthinkable. Because in praying we seek to understand. Because prayer is hope manifested. And I think that no matter what we pray we are always asking the same thing: show me that I am, am loved, and am safe.

Whether you want your cancer cured or a Mercedes-Benz, it’s really all the same prayer isn’t it?

Namaste.

Bible Verse Faves Of The Week

2009-05-09T16:11:00.019-06:00

"Those who say, ‘I love God’, and hate their brothers or sisters, are liars; for those who do not love a brother or sister whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen" - 1 John 4:20

"How does God’s love abide in anyone who has the world’s goods and sees a brother or sister in need and yet refuses help?" - 1 John 3:17

It seems so elementary to me that we should not hate others - even those with whom we share no common ground except the earth itself. It also seems so elementary to me that we should share our good fortune with those less fortunate - even those we or "proper" folk may think don't "deserve" such largess.

These two texts tell me that I should love those I don't care for and care for those who cannot care for themselves. That I should give freely without conditions, just as Christ did.

One of those easy to say, hard to follow commandments...

So, I should love Rush Limbaugh though he would not likely love me. And I should give to the dirty, homeless man on the corner with the crude sign that says "I have AIDS and am hungry. Anything will help. GOD BLESS" because, well, I can. If I see him, a brother in need, and I have the "world's goods," how can I refuse to help?

I assume that Jesus would kick my Volvo driving, Patagonia covered ass if I tried to weasel out of this one because the guy is obviously lazy or an addict or [insert excuse here] - because, really, I don't know anything except here is a person obviously in trouble who needs help, and I can help.

I don't need to know how he got AIDS, why he is hungry or how he came to be homeless. I don't even need to know if he's telling the truth. All I need to know is, he needs help with all three, and I have the good fortune to have the "world's goods."

Namaste.

Blessing Of The Bicycles, May 17, Denver, CO

2009-05-04T18:27:00.006-06:00

All
Are
Welcome!

The Continuing Saga of K. Thew Forrester

2009-05-03T20:46:00.011-06:00

The episcopal battle royale re zen and the Nicene creed apparently rages on. It is said that Bishop Forrester is likely to be the first episcopal bishop vetoed by the church since the 1930s.

"I don't really see what there is left to say - the unique incarnation, saving death, bodily resurrection and universal lordship of Jesus are basic to Christian faith and to question that means you are disqualified from being an upholder of that faith in any official capacity in the church. That such a man should be considered even a possibility for a bishop is quite simply extraordinary." - The right Rev. N.T. Wright, lord bishop of Durham, England

"I think [Thew Forrester is] solidly a Christian believer, a disciple of Jesus Christ and will be a faithful bishop. ... I don't think he's outside the tent of acceptable theological thinking and understanding." - The right Rev. Tom Ely, bishop of Vermont

"This gentleman, apparently, doesn't believe the creeds. ... The doctrine of redemption through the incarnation and atoning work and resurrection and heavenly reign at present and future return of the second person of the Godhead: That is Christianity. Take that away and you have destroyed the Christian religion. Period. That's what Christianity is about." - Regent College Professor of Theology J.I. Packer

"The creed is a statement of faith and of love of God. ... The question is 'Is Kevin's interpretation of it within the ballpark?' For me it is. I think it stretches us but not to the point of breaking." - The right Rev. Bruce Caldwell, bishop of Wyoming

"The facts of the Christian faith are that Jesus is God's Son, born of the virgin Mary, lived a sinless life, died for our sins, rose again from the dead, ascended into heaven, and is coming again. A Christian will agree with these facts. If a denomination or church is Christian, it will agree with these facts. If a so-called bishop does not agree with the central elements of the Christian faith, then he should not call himself a Christian, let alone a bishop - nor should a church ordain him. He is an apostate from the Faith; and a church that ordains such a one is also apostate." - The Rev. George O. Wood, general superintendent of the Assemblies of God

Oh, George O. Wood, why are you speaking out on an Episcopal bishop election? When was the last time the Episcopals took the Assemblies of God to task? I'm guessing...not.

Furthermore, are there not as many gradations of the "central elements of the Christian faith" as there are variations on the Christian faith from Catholic Rome to Luther to LDS to the Branch Davidians and everyone in between and to the right and left. Bishop elect Thew Forrester does not deny the creeds in any way shape or form - point me to his "heresy" because I can't find it. And I'm pretty sure I've looked harder than you...

He may not be eligible to be an episcopal bishop - that's far outside my expertise - but where to you get off deciding if he is a good enough Christian? Calling him an apostate? Have you met the man? Have you discussed his beliefs with him? Have you talked to those who elected him in the first place. I'm guessing... not.

"We cannot emphasize enough how this exceptional man has quietly and consistently expanded our spiritual lives as a Christian community," said a letter posted on the church's Web site. "So it is especially painful for us to watch while others malign him during this consent process. He is one of us, and every unfair personal attack on our beloved bishop-elect inflicts a deep wound on each of us, who we are, what we have worked to achieve, and how we wish to fulfill God's promise and love in our diocese."

Bishop Thew Forrester may challenge his parishioners to THINK but that is not apostasy.

Or is it?

Namaste.

luminescence

2009-05-02T13:33:00.019-06:00

the mountain is wrapped
in white sheets

outside
the cold pulls itself on you

a worthless coat with empty pockets

lost colors
huddle together along the road

begging with hands outstretched

blind birds vanish

trees swim
in and out

a slow green
across the hillside

the air sleeps

and i can’t find
anything

in this luminescent
darkness

photo: r. doshi

Bible Verse Fave Of The Week

2009-04-29T22:16:00.010-06:00

I have other sheep that do not belong to this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd. - John 10:16

There is yet more light and truth to break forth from God's Word. - John Robinson (Puritan Preacher, 1620).

According to Dr. Byron E. Shafer in a sermon he preached at Rutgers Presbyterian Church in NYC back in 2005: "Robinson believed that, in principle, the Holy Spirit can lead us to find truths in Scripture that no Christian group or generation has previously seen or understood." And goes on to say that "... I believe that when Christians today read in John 10:16-"I have other sheep that do not belong to this fold"-the Holy Spirit is seeking to lead us beyond the view that there is no salvation outside of Christianity-beyond that view to the understanding that God does have other sheep and that Christianity is not God's only sheepfold."

His sermon is ultimately less than affirming of other faiths or at best reaches no conclusion about what those "sheep that do not belong to this fold" mean. But reading between his lines, I think, he sees that other faiths have much to teach us and that God has chosen those other faiths for reasons unknowable to impart wisdom to us. You can read it all here if you'd like.

Today, my doubts are as ever. But I take comfort in the idea that there are "sheep that do not belong to this fold" (I may well be one of them) but that nonetheless Jesus will bring them together in some way that is unfathomable. Sometimes more mystery makes it easier to believe. Three persons in One God. Many religions that will listen to Jesus' voice.

Despite my doubts, this bible verse centers me, and I await "more light and truth to break forth from God's word."

Namaste.

We Cannot Believe By Ourselves

2009-04-27T22:12:00.015-06:00

It has been an interesting two weeks following Easter.

Our Pastor called for volunteers to create some kind of resurrection station during each Sunday after Easter. Sort of like the stations of the Cross only this time to reflect different resurrection stories. An earlier post of mine discusses the story of Doubting Thomas. When I wrote that I was thinking about me and doubt, obviously. And when I heard the call to create a station of the resurrection I volunteered to do one on John 20:24-25: “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”

I volunteered because I thought it would be fun to do. It was kind of a cool PowerPoint deal with lots of fades, quotes from everyone from Luther to Bono, odd paintings by Jim Dine (see photo) and others. And it plays to the soundtrack of Songs and Poems for Solo Cello: Song III, by Phillip Glass as performed by Wendy Sutter. I must have agonized over that damn thing for two weeks. iTunes tells me I listened to Song III 56 times in the course of putting it together.

The relevant sections of John 20 are interspersed with pithy quotes that seemed relevant in terms of the role doubt plays in faith. For example, “It is not as a child that I believe and confess Jesus Christ. My hosanna is born of a furnace of doubt.” - Fyodor Dostoevsky. Or how about “Some things have to be believed to be seen.” - Ralph Hodgson. Or last but not least: “I believe though I do not comprehend, and I hold by faith what I cannot grasp with the mind.” - St. Bernard and so on.

So yesterday, Sunday, I set up my Mac at HFASS and got it ready to play it during what we call “Open Space.” Other folks had some cool stuff. Someone set up a sheet where you could sign your name in place of “Mary!” as Jesus exclaimed it when he left the tomb. (John 20:11-21:25 ) That was amazing to visualize while I stood there. Another had a poem cut in sections hanging and on a clothesline. Nice that.

Picture my Mac on a green cloth covered table. A tall white candle on each side (in praise of St. Job of Apple I imagine). Music blasting out of Pastor Nadia’s speakers, it ran all during the open space period. The song is only 2:19 long which was a bit much when heard over and over and over. [A brief digression, interestingly, John 2:19 is “Jesus answered them, Destroy this temple, and I will raise it again in three days.”]

Anyway, after the service, Charlotte and I packed it up and went home. I was totally down from the moment I walked out of church. Which was weird. The funk lasted most of the night and into today. This foggy grey day of snow showers and absence. Because that’s what it feels like today. No Christ. No Spirit. No God. No Trinity. No presence. Only absence. It has been so long since I felt His presence or could see it. The fog and mists obscure the trees and make them just shadows. I’d be glad for such a shadow of Christ. At least I'd know He was there.

It dawned on me when I got home tonight that I’m down because despite the pretty presentation, the wise words, the pithy quotes, and the (all too) haunting music, despite all that, my doubts are still here, perhaps stronger than ever. I had hoped my project would prove to be an exorcism of sorts. But thinking about Thomas for two weeks has seemed to have the reverse effects. I’m reading “The Reason For God” right now and I want to debate Timothy Keller at every turn.

Instead of getting closer to God I feel further away. Intellectually, I know St. Bernard is right but my heart was empty after church and is still empty tonight. Luther said, “Faith is a divine work that God demands of us; but at the same time He Himself implants it We cannot believe by ourselves.”

That last bit is my solace tonight. “We cannot believe by ourselves.”

Jesus said: “For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.” Matthew 18:20

Perhaps this is what Christ meant, at least in part - the community of followers sustains us.; i.e., church. God knows its hard to believe all alone, at least for me, and perhaps intended it as such.

I just wish I could understand why.

Namaste.

2009-04-21T20:15:00.002-06:00

"What do you mean not that intelligent...?"

2009-04-20T00:49:00.003-06:00

Bible Verse Fave Of The Week

2009-04-15T15:23:00.011-06:00

Without a doubt, this week's fave is:

"But Thomas (who was called the Twin, one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, ‘We have seen the Lord.’ But he said to them, ‘Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.’ " - John 20:24-25

Imagine, if you will, the other eleven guys in your small fraternity. You, Thomas, enter to empty wine jugs and dirty dishes having inexplicably missed the previous night's kegger, and are immediately accosted by your brothers.

"Twinman, guess who came to dinner last night?" says Peter, speaking for all.

"Who?"

"Jesus walked right in here, I mean wow! The door was locked and everything. Just showed up in the middle of us all." says Peter. "Sat right here."

"Riiiiight."

"No really. He breathed the Holy Spirit on us..." protests Peter.

"Dude, let me smell your breath."

"Well, ask him yourself. I'm sure he'll be here again."

"Pete, let me know when he gets here 'cause I want to stick my fingers in the mess the Romans did to him."

"Thomas!"

"Holy crap... I mean... "My Lord and my God!"" exclaims Thomas, straightening up.

I have to say that I would have been just like Thomas. A doubter. A show me kinda guy. I've been Thomas all my life about more topics than the Resurrection of Jesus.

And then Jesus pours salt in Thomas' wound and says:

"Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.’ "

And then we don't hear anything more of Thomas in the New Testament. Nothing. There is no comeback from Thomas! You can just see him feeling about 1 ft. tall at that point, while his brothers snicker, looking around the room for the keg. Apostle needs a drink about then....

Then he goes to INDIA to preach or so legend tells it.

Everyone else gets to stay more or less in the 'hood, but not poor Thomas.

Being a Doubting Thomas is a tough road to faith. I wish I just had faith. Rock solid.

But that's not me.

Namaste.

Of Course He Did

2009-04-14T18:12:00.004-06:00

easter celebration

2009-04-12T22:14:00.005-06:00

wake up.
pray.
thank god for the Resurrection.
and coffee.
french toast at em-le's cafe in carmel.
walk around.
buy a hat.
read the savage detective by roberto bolano
drink herbal tea.
listen to phillip glass, etudes for piano, Vol. 1, no. 1 - 10.
nap.
walk around.
pesto giovanni at napoli's in carmel.
walk around.
read the savage detective by roberto bolano.
graham crackers and milk.
buy a very old CD by the Suburbs on itunes.
enjoy the fading light over the pacific.
pray.
read the savage detective by roberto bolano.
write.

namaste.

Photo: R. Doshi

joyous easter

2009-04-12T12:24:00.002-06:00

2009-04-11T20:42:00.004-06:00

Easter Vigil
Carmel-By-The-Sea, California
Photo: Roshi Doshi

2009-04-10T07:58:00.001-06:00

And the sun was darkened,
and the veil of the temple was rent in the midst.

- Luke 23:45

Pointing At The Moon

2009-04-08T21:56:00.009-06:00

J. Workingman left a comment on my post of a few days ago with questions interspersed with Bishop-elect Kevin Thew-Forrester’s (hereafter “KTF” or “Fr. KTF”) explanations regarding his involvement in Zen whilst being an Episcopalian priest. In reality I suppose that J. Workingman is wondering if Fr. KTF is guilty of syncretism and thus unfit for the office of Bishop for the Episcopalian Diocese of Northern Michigan. I do not believe this to be the case, and I try in my answers to JW’s questions to explain why.
So the structure here is KTF's quote, JW's question, and my answer.
KTF: The ceremony I participated in was quite simple. I provide below the one vow I took and the precepts I affirmed. I believe you will find they have nothing whatsoever to do with me joining Buddhism.
Question: Elsewhere KTF writes that he received Lay Ordination. Is Lay Ordination a lesser thing than "being a Buddhist"? Can one have Lay Ordination and not be Buddhist?
Answer: We should not confuse the Christian concept of ordination and the Zen Buddhist concept of lay ordination. While I do not know the exact ceremony that Fr. KTF used for lay ordination, it is normally about a commitment to practice zazen (meditation) and to strive to heal the suffering in the world. Lay ordination does not create a priest, minister or other leader. You are simply formally recognized as a student, and you are declaring your intent to be a student. Merely learning Hebrew and then trying to learn, understand and utilize Judaism does not make me a Jew; i.e., using Zen traditions and practices to deepen my understanding of the Triune God just makes me more Christian; not less. Zen as a word is simply Japanese for “meditation.”
KTF: Within the ceremony I took one vow: “We vow to save all beings.”
Question: Is this not the Bodhisattva Vow to help save all sentient beings, before going into full Nirvana or enlightenment. Does this not require the prayer, "May I attain Buddhahood for the benefit of all sentient beings"?
Answer: The Christian concept of prayer is non-existent without God. The Buddha is not God nor is he “a” god. He was teacher. Zen practioners do not pray to Buddha or anyone else. This is not to say that there are not Buddhist sects that pray to Buddha as a deity. There are. But Zen is not one of them and views these other sects as having a mistaken understanding of the Buddha’s teachings. The statement of “May I attain Buddhahood for the benefit of all beings” is a vow, a goal or expression of intent. “I vow to lose ten pounds” is not a prayer. Neither is seeking to “attain Buddhahood for the benefit of all beings.” Zen rejects “book-learning”, religious rites, good works to earn merit, or devotional practices in favor of meditation as a path to greater insight and awareness. In Fr. KTF case he has said that he uses Zen techniques to further deepen his experience of God. It is a mystical practice for Fr. KTF – this is how it appears to me at least.
KTF: For me, as a Christian, this meant a recommitment of my baptismal covenant: to proclaim by word and example the Good News of God in Christ; to seek and serve Christ in all persons [creatures],
Question: “Creatures” seems a curious insertion here. Don't Buddhists believe that all living things have the Buddha spirit in them?
Answer: I cannot answer why Fr. KTF has inserted the word “creatures” at this point. But as to Buddha-nature, a Buddhist will talk your ear off about Buddha-nature. Buddha-nature is not a soul or spirit in any sense of the word. Zen Buddhism focuses on attaining enlightenment through meditation as Siddhartha Gautama (the historical Buddha) did. It teaches that all human beings have the Buddha-nature, or the potential to attain enlightenment, within them. As to all living creatures having Buddha-nature or the capacity to achieve enlightenment, I can only quote a rather famous Zen koan:
"Does a dog possess Buddha-nature or not?" Chao-chou replied with the one-word answer “Wu” (pronounced "mu" in Japanese) meaning literally "no" but in this context can be understood to indicate that the very question itself was in error.

KTF: There were also “The Three Collective Pure Precepts,” which I affirmed:
Striving to avoid the unwholesome, striving to do the wholesome, striving to benefit all living beings.
Finally, there was an affirmation of “The Ten Grave Prohibitory Precepts”:
Not taking life, not stealing, not indulging in sexual greed, not speaking falsehood, not indulging in intoxicants, not discussing the faults of others, not praising self or slandering others, not begrudging the bestowal of dharma [wisdom] on anyone
Question: The Dharma is not just generic wisdom; is it not the sacred doctrine of the Buddha and of Buddhism? Isn't Dharma transmission one function of a Roshi?
Answer: Dharma is not a “sacred” doctrine. The word Dharma has several meanings “truth” or “wisdom” and the teachings of the Buddha. The teachings of the Buddha are not sacred. He told his followers to be “a lamp unto themselves.” In other words to find their own way with their own lamps; i.e., minds! To test his words for themselves and not accept anything he said simply because he said it.
“Dharma transmission” is not some spiritual or mystical event it is simply the recognition by a teacher (“Roshi”) that his student has reached the point that he is considered to understand the teachings and is now authorized to teach the Dharma as that particular Roshi taught that student.
Having a lay ordination is as far from being a Roshi as attending Sunday school as an 8 year old is from being the Pope – no offense intended to Fr. KTF.
KTF cont.:
Not indulging in anger, not disparaging the Triple Treasure [the Buddha as a teacher, the wisdom, the community]
Question: Is this not a vow to refrain from critique of the way of the Buddha?
Answer: “Critique” and “disparage” are quite different terms. Disparage would be to “regard or represent as being of little worth.” If you are planning on committing to study and understand something to further your understanding of self and God, “disparaging” that which you plan to study won’t get you far. But “critique” is almost required to explore and understand Zen.
As I mentioned above, the Buddha encouraged his followers to not take anything as true just because he said it. And it is quite something in Buddhist monasteries all over the world to witness a “dharma combat” in which two people will argue, critique and debate the micro and macro points of Buddhist philosophy. So, Fr. KTF has simply stated that he will not disparage Zen, not that he won’t bring his critical powers of analysis to bear on it.
In Conclusion
Do not mistake the finger pointing at the moon, for the moon itself. –Zen Saying
Namaste.

Bishop Kimsey Supports Bishop Elect K. Thew-Forrester

2009-04-08T16:12:00.009-06:00

Assisting Bishop Kimsey for the Episcopal Diocese of Alaska has written a rather sharp letter to Bishop Breidenthal (Bishop of Southern Ohio) taking him to task for opposing and voting against Fr. Thew-Forrester's election as the new Episcopal Bishop for Northern Michigan - not on the whole Zen thing I've been writing about but on the basis of Thew-Forrester's view on atonement...

I've posted PDFs of the open letter here.

Thoughts?

Namaste.

Zen Christian: Comment Re Bishop Elect Thew Forrester

2009-04-07T22:38:00.010-06:00

Yesterday I wrote about Bishop-elect Thew Forrester and the fact that he practices Zen meditation in addition to being an Episcopal priest. I received the following comment that I thought I would post in the hopes that folks might help out in answering JW's questions...I plan to write a response of some kind but would love to hear what folks might be thinking!

Namaste.

J. Workman said..

Since I am required to vote on this consecration, may I ask you a few questions?

I take it "Roshi" in your blog title indicates that you are a Zen Master.

Bishop-elect Thew Forrester (KTF below) has posted on the diocese website the following statement. I have interspersed my questions for you.

KTF: The ceremony I participated in was quite simple. I provide below the one vow I took and the precepts I affirmed. I believe you will find they have nothing whatsoever to do with me joining Buddhism.

Question: Elsewhere KTF writes that he received Lay Ordination. Is Lay Ordination a lesser thing than "being a Buddhist"? Can one have Lay Ordination and not be Buddhist?

KTF: Within the ceremony I took one vow: “We vow to save all beings.”

Question: Is this not the Bodhisattva Vow to help save all sentient beings, before going into full Nirvana or enlightenment. Does this not require the prayer, "May I attain Buddhahood for the benefit of all sentient beings"?

KTF: For me, as a Christian, this meant a recommitment of my baptismal covenant: to proclaim by word and example the Good News of God in Christ; to seek and serve Christ in all persons [creatures],

Question: “Creatures” seems a curious insertion here. Don't Buddhists believe that all living things have the Buddha spirit in them?

KTF: There were also “The Three Collective Pure Precepts,” which I affirmed:

-Striving to avoid the unwholesome,
-Striving to do the wholesome,
-Striving to benefit all living beings.

Finally, there was an affirmation of “The Ten Grave Prohibitory Precepts”:

Not taking life
Not stealing
Not indulging in sexual greed
Not speaking falsehood
Not indulging in intoxicants
Not discussing the faults of others
Not praising self or slandering others
Not begrudging the bestowal of Dharma [wisdom] on anyone

Question: The Dharma is not just generic wisdom; is it not the sacred doctrine of the Buddha and of Buddhism? Isn't Dharma transmission one function of a Roshi?

KTF cont.:
Not indulging in anger
Not disparaging the Triple Treasure [the Buddha as a teacher, the wisdom, the community]

Question: Is this not a vow to refrain from critique of the way of the Buddha?

KTF: I hope this provides some clarity. I am not a Buddhist. I am a Christian who has benefited from being taught the spiritual practice of meditation. The Incarnation, I believe, frees us as Christians to recognize and receive the Holy wherever we encounter it. As Christians, we have felt free to incorporate a non-Christian practice such as the labyrinth, and allow it to become a spiritual practice that deepens our walk in Christ. In the Middle Ages, we adapted non-Christian prayer beads and developed them into our rosary. Meditation, for me, and countless others, is a spiritual practice which deepens my contemplative dwelling in Christ, so that I may say ever more fully – into your hands I commend my Spirit. All Christian spiritual practice, whatever it is, is done for this reason alone.

Zen Christian

2009-04-06T20:54:00.010-06:00

Kevin Thew Forrester was recently elected bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Northern Michigan on February 21, but is also a Buddhist practitioner in the Soto School of Zen Buddhism and practices at the Lake Superior Zendo. Some claim that this is somehow at odds with being Christian or Episcopal. I can't speak for Episcopal folk but as someone who is intimately familiar with Zen and Soto Zen in particular I don't see Christianity and Zen as being at odds with each other. But they can complement each other.

We're not talking Tibetan Buddhism here. That most Catholic of all Buddhist sects. In Zen, Buddha is not revered as a god nor is he asked to intercede with god. He's a teacher. Revered and honored. But nothing more.

Anthony de Mello (Jesuit), Meister Eckhart (Dominican) (surely not knowing it as zen but just as surely it was) and Thomas Merton (Trappist) and many other devoted Christians have explored the Zen path. It is a contemplative path that takes its practitioner to a place where one confronts two mysteries: the Self and the unnameable and ultimately unknowable essence of the universe; a/k/a the Trinity.

Is there a bigger, unnameable, unknowable or more mysterious thing than the Triune God? If Zen practice helps one to experience the Triune God, then what's the problem? Zen is not the problem. In fact there is no problem. Christ made sure of that. Zen is not the worship of Buddha but the search for self.

As Thomas Merton said:

"What can we gain by sailing to the moon if we are not able to cross the abyss that separates us from ourselves? This is the most important of all voyages of discovery, and without it, all the rest are not only useless, but disastrous."

As Meister Eckhart said:

"He who would be serene and pure needs but one thing, detachment."

"To be full of things is to be empty of God. To be empty of things is to be full of God."

"There exists only the present instant... a Now which always and without end is itself new. There is no yesterday nor any tomorrow, but only now."

As Anthony de Mello said:

"Obedience keeps the rules. Loves knows when to break them."

Truly, a Soto Zen Master could not have said it better.

Namaste.

A Certain Young Man

2009-04-04T20:41:00.008-06:00

"A certain young man was following him, wearing nothing but a linen cloth. They caught him, but he left the linen cloth, and ran off naked." - Mark 14:51-52 (NRSV)

"And there followed him a certain young man, having a linen cloth cast about his naked body; and the young men laid hold on him: And he left the linen cloth, and fled from them naked." - Mark 14:51-52 (King James)

What an odd text.

There are some very complicated theories on this very short text based on original texts rather than the translations we see here. As for who this young man is, some say the young man is Mark himself, others say he just a boy sleeping in the garden and woke to the ruckus, others say he's an angel, and others say the boy dressed in a white robe in Jesus' tomb is the same person as runs off naked in the garden. Mark 16:5. And there are other theories as well. In other words, nobody knows. As for the meaning, there are multiplicity of works in speculative fiction on that as well.

Let's play this back again. This certain young man (late teens or early twenties) went running off just after Jesus is arrested by the chief priests. Just after one of those who stood near drew his sword and cut off the ear of the slave of the high priest. Just after: "All of them deserted him and fled." - Mark 14:50 In other words, he's standing there, in the cold of the night, in a "linen" and he sees a betrayal, an arrest, a sword draw blood, and the Disciples high-tail it out of there. He thinks: "Sh*t!" In the chaos of the disciples fleeing, he tries to flee and some people grab him but he breaks free and runs...

Well, who wouldn't?

Doesn't everyone run screaming (at least metaphorically) when they figure out what following Christ really means? I think this young man is standing in for all of us in Mark's gospel (interestingly I don't think he appears in the other gospels). He witnesses the betrayal and arrest of Christ and then flees the scene of the crime. He's a material witness and he goes on the lam. Because, by god, he doesn't want to get involved.

Just like me when I first heard the gospels so long ago, and even last year when I came tentatively back to the gospels. Like a witness to a crime who peers through the blinds at the night scene below, at the circle of shadowed people standing around a body laying on the avenue in the pink glow of the city, but out of fear, doesn't dial 9-1-1.

This certain young man was an uncertain witness to something he did not fully comprehend. Something that scared him and sent him running.

I can relate to that.

Namaste.

Benedict Says Condoms Make AIDS "Worse"

2009-04-04T08:23:00.006-06:00

"[AIDS] is a tragedy that cannot be overcome by money alone, that cannot be overcome through the distribution of condoms, which even aggravates the problems," said the Pope on a flight to the start of his first visit to Africa – home to 70 percent of all people living with HIV/AIDs.

Two articles. One an opinion piece and one more of a traditional news story. Together they sum up the situation pretty well.

"LISBON, Mar 23 (IPS) - Political leaders, activists, scientists and even Catholic bishops all joined in the chorus of criticism against the stance taken by Pope Benedict with respect to the use of condoms to curb the impact of HIV/AIDS in Africa."

"What sort of tormented, clenched God must you believe in to cause you to openly promote ignorance and death for the sake of power and ideology and fear -- always, always a deep fear -- of love and sex and basic human connection?" To read more from Mark Morford's comments go here....

But my guess is the Holy Father is likely not alone in his views, he's just the most visible Christian on the planet with those views. So it seems fair that he gets to take the heat.

Many squawk that the Pope has freedom of speech. Yes, he does. And so do the rest of us to oppose his dangerous misinformation. The scientifically well documented ability of condoms to prevent the spread of AIDS is not a religious issue, it is a scientific one. The Pope may be qualified to comment on the former but not the latter.

In most countries freedom of speech ends where it creates a real immediate and present danger of physical harm to another. For example, one does not have the right to falsely yell "Fire" in a crowded movie theatre.

This is what the Pope has done - and I fear for the safety and lives of all those who will heed his false alarm.

Namaste.

Three Prayers

2009-04-01T22:44:00.004-06:00

I've been trying to pray. There are many things that I am pretty good at, prayer is presently not one of them. I only have three:

1) Fix This, Amen.

2) Save The World, In Your Mercy

3) Jesus, WTF?

This is not a very wide range of original thinking. Sometimes silence works as a prayer but I get squirmy.

I think I need to be in a prayer cover band for a while. Learn some traditional licks before branching off on my own.

If anyone has any ideas for a playlist, let me know.

Namaste.

The Continuing Saga of Trinity Troubles

2009-03-31T23:48:00.004-06:00

There is a soap opera here...

The Council of Nicaea and its aftermath had it all. Empire. Emperor. Emperor’s sister. Imperial family intrigues. Poison (maybe). There was probably sex too but no one apparently bothered to write that part down. There was theology too, of course. Copious amounts of it. But if we are to turn this into a Byzantine Dallas we will have to downplay that in the script.

This is seriously wonderful stuff.

Its 325 and Arius, our star heresiarch, is called to Constantinople. At this point he is under suspicion for his views but there is no Creed at this point or at least no universally agreed Creed. Constantine has called these folks together in the first true Council of the church to sort this out once and for all. He very much wanted to hold the church and empire together and Arianism appeared to at least pose a threat to both though how credible is debatable. Two hundred bishops from various parts of the Empire. A bit stacked perhaps on the Trinitarian side but Arius has the strong support of at least 20 of the Bishops… not terrible. Many are wavering on the political winds of the moment. But the outcome is never really in doubt. I mean, the EMPEROR is after his ass. Arius will be cast out. In a sense, Nicaea was as much an exorcism as unifying force of the church and empire.

The big argument was over the word homoouios vs. homoiouios - the presence or absence of that “i” in the middle meant the difference between Trinitarianism and Arianism since homoousios means, generally, same substance, while homoiousios means, generally, similar substance (I’m leaving a bunch of that theology stuff out at this point). The Council decided that the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are of the same substance, not just similar - which would be the view of Arianism.

Interestingly, various Synods of Antioch in the third century had actually condemned this word in their heresy hearings re Paul of Samosatas who was a Monarchist and precocious Adoptionist to boot. The Arians cited the Synods endlessly against using this word in the Creed but to no avail. Some accounts say the Council actually decided to use this particular word just because the Arians objected so strenuously to it. Nice touch that.

So Arius is found guilty of heresy and is cast out into exile. But he makes a comeback in our next episode after an arch rival at the Council, Eustathius makes a disparaging remark about Constantine’s grandmother… is accused of various things including disrespect of the imperial family and, oh yeah, heresy. Trumped up charges clearly. But the best part, the Emperor's sister, on her deathbed, introduces her Arian chaplain to the Emperor, who proceeds to peddle the big guy the big line that Arius’ beliefs are not really counter to Nicaea.

Stay tuned for our next episode of Trinity Trouble!!!

Namaste.

The Cross

2009-03-30T20:30:00.000-06:00

The cross, with which the ashes are traced upon us, is the sign of Christ’s victory over death. The words “Remember that thou art dust and that to dust thou shall return” are not to be taken as the quasi-form of a kind of “sacrament of death” (as if such a thing were possible). It might be good stoicism to receive a mere reminder of our condemnation to die, but it is not Christianity.

- Thomas Merton

Ticketmaster Luck

2009-03-27T16:37:00.006-06:00

Tickets to U2 at Giant Stadium in September go on-sale Monday at 10 AM EST....wish me Ticketmaster luck.

And the lyrics to New Year's Day are my favorite. Bono seems to be channeling Christ.

Of course, Bono often seems to be channeling Christ.

New Year's Day

All is quiet on New Year's Day
A world in white gets underway
And I want to be with you
Be with you night and day
Nothing changes on New Year's Day

I will be with you again
I will be with you again

Under a blood-red sky
A crowd has gathered in black and white
Arms entwined, the chosen few
The newspapers say, say, say it's true
And we can break through,
Though torn in two, we can be one

I will begin again
I will begin again
Oh and maybe the time is right
Oh maybe tonight

I will be with you again
I will be with you again

And so we are told this is the golden age
And gold is the reason for the wars we wage
Though I want to be with you
Be with you night and day
Nothing changes on New Year's day

Namaste.

The Bean, the Cream and the Perfect Roast

2009-03-26T13:28:00.011-06:00

With apologies to Inho Kim:

Caffeine is my shepherd, I shall not doze.
It maketh me to wake quickly:
It leadeth me beyond the need for sleep.
It restoreth my buzz:
It leadeth me to sufficient consciousness
for foolish morning meetings.
Yea, though I walk in the valley of late night talk shows,
I shall fear no sunrise:
The Bean art with me, the Cream and the Sugar
they comfort me.
Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence
of the Perfect Roast:
Thou anoints my day with pep, and banishes decaf forever.
Surely I shall toss, turn and lie sleepless
all the days of my life
but I shall be alert in the House of the Bean
forever.

In the name of Bean, the Cream and the Perfect Roast.

Amen.

One Way Or Another

2009-03-22T20:53:00.008-06:00

Tonight's mysteries are:

Cataphatism: the religious belief that God has given enough clues to be known to humans positively and affirmatively (e.g., God created Adam 'in his own image') [ant: apophatism]

Apophatism: the religious belief that God cannot be known but is completely 'other' and must be described in negative terms (in terms of what God is not) [ant: cataphatism]

For some reason lyrics from Blondie come to mind here, well describing my quest to know God:

One way or another I'm gonna find ya
I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha
One way or another I'm gonna see ya
I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha

And so on.

Namaste.

Zucchini and Mushroom Pizza On The Grill

2009-03-21T09:07:00.009-06:00

One thing we love to do is make pizzas on the outdoor grill. Makes the crust taste delicious.

The crust is the main thing, the toppings are the creative thing.

Crust Ingredients

3 1/2 cups unbleached white flour

1/2 cup whole wheat pastry flour

1 1/2 cups water

1/2 tsp. yeast

pinch of sugar

2 Tbsp. olive oil

1/2 tsp. salt

Add the yeast to the water in the mixer bowl. Add a pinch of sugar to feed the yeastie beasties. Let it sit for 15 min. or so. Add two cups of the flour to the water. Using the whisk attachment mix thoroughly. Let this sit in the bowl, covered for 45 min. to an hour. Add the rest of the white plus the whole wheat flour, olive oil and salt, and mix with the dough hook attachment for a few minutes. Knead by hand until it feels smooth. Place in oiled bowl and let rise for 2 hours or until double in size. Punch down and then divide into 4 pieces, shape into balls and let rise until double in size. Once risen, shape into four flat rough circles in any way you want. They are prettier if they are not perfect (like so many of us).

Now the fun part. Slide those babies gently but directly onto the grill (make sure its a very hot grill). They firm up quick. Let them develop some grill marks and then flip and cook a little more to finish them up. Remove from the grill.

Topping Ingredients

1 med. Zucchini
1 lbs. sliced mushrooms
Shredded Mozzarella
1/4 cup fresh oregano
2 Tbsp. fresh thyme
olive oil
salt/pepper

tomato sauce

Slice the zucchini very very thinly. A mandoline is helpful for this.

Saute the mushrooms in some olive oil with a little salt and pepper until they are completely cooked and their water has evaporated.

Assembly and Finish

Paint each crust with a thin layer of tomato paste.

Lay zuchini around the edges like in the photo or as you please.

Fill the center with herbs.

Cover the centers with mushrooms.

Top with as much cheese as you like.

Drizzle with a little olive oil and a few grinds of pepper.

Put the pizzas back on the grill to cook the toppings (i like to lay them on a pizza stone on the grill to keep the bottoms from over cooking).

Enjoy!

Namaste.

Trinity Troubles

2009-03-18T21:56:00.015-06:00

It has been a week full of interesting reading. Nothing too major mind you. Just dabbling in the heresy of Arius and a few others.

Arius was amazingly long lived (AD 250 - 336) - 86 years (with no antioxidants or aerobics). Historians pretty much thing he was poisoned by his enemies just before he was readmitted to Christian communion after being previously exiled immediately following Council of Nicaea which, in the Nicene Creed, rejected Arius' vision of the Word as created by God; i.e., Christ did not always coexist in consubstantiation with the Father, rather God created Christ and therefore the two are not the same and the Trinity is not a correct understanding of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. However, Arius did not deny that Christ's death on the Cross or any other aspect of the Gospels. As Eusebius of Nicomedia puts it "We are persecuted, because we say that the Son has a beginning, but that God is without beginning." So, Arius rejects the Trinity on the grounds that he believed Christ was created by the Father at some point but before time itself. See Corinthians. FYI, Jehovah's Witnesses' have a Arianism kind of thing going on. See also LDS. See also Apostolic and/or United Pentecostals. More below.

But it gets better because there is the Sabellianism approach which predates Arius and Arianism and which postulates that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are three different aspects of one God rather than three distinct persons; i.e., there ain't no three in one, its just God appearing in three different guises; i.e., it was God "himself" who was crucified when he appeared as Christ. See also Modalism. Then Arianism comes along and we get a monotheistic God who created Christ who died on the Cross. And then along come Trinitarianism that says hey its not one. Its not three. Its both. Its three-in-one; three persons but one being.

To summarize my no doubt less than perfect understanding:

Sabellianism = one god who shows up in three different guises.

Arianism = one god who creates Christ at some point and the Holy Spirit.

Trinitarianism = one god/being made of three consubstantial co-existing co-eternal persons (but not like Sybil).

As I am reading all this I think "well this is interesting history but not really much relevant these days I'm sure" (being the naive newcomer to faith that I am). Then my wife Charlotte sends me a nice positive email message from one t.d. jakes whom I'd never heard of (see, naive). I google the guy and discover he has a 30,000 member mega-church in TX or someplace. And he is defending himself as NOT a follower of Oneness or Apostolic or United Pentecostalism. Which is some variant on a non-trinitarian theology but the distinctions escape me at this point. As recently as 2007 in Christianity Today he wrote a short defense of himself. There are whole blogsites devoted to rooting out just what Mr. Jakes true views of the Godhead might be because apparently it matters a lot. To some people. Because apparently Trinitarian is the one true way though its pretty easy to see how the whole three-in-one might be a little confusing to folks. If you tour Wikipedia on this your head will spin. The three doctrines I have served up seem to have a limitless number of permutations, digressions and champions. All still have adherents to this date. See, Arian Catholic Church.

What's my point?

For some reason Christians (and I'm using that term broadly here) seem almost pre-ordained to figure out ways to disagree on subtleties and ignore the bigger picture. It also makes me realize that theology is important not because it can necessarily root out the truth but because it can make it clear that the truth is not clear at all under the microscope. Sort of like quantum mechanics. Yes, to the unaided eye the universe is a Newtonian paradise of order but get a particle accelerator and a dry erase board with a bunch of physicists, quantum mechanic types, a string theorist or two, and suddenly the details are hard to pin down down at the quantum level.

Ditto for the Trinity.

Perhaps that is as it should be. The universe is mysterious and unpredictable at its most fundamental level. The Trinity seems equally (and thankfully) mysterious to me. Between the three approaches, I'm going with Trinitarianism. Not because its commonly accepted and the others are heresies (believe me heresy is an attraction to me) but rather because it's so contrary to what I can considered to be a rational. The two nontrinitarian approaches kind of make rational sense. But three-in-one? Really? How can three be one? What is the sound of one hand clapping? The Trinity - yet another christian koan.

To me the more mysterious "solution" works better for me - even if it does look (on the surface!) like Constantine threw Sabellianism and Arianism in a blender with some ice and created Trinitarianism as a compromise political cocktail.

Namaste.

PS: I ordered the book Arius: Heresy and Tradition so no doubt there will be more posts about this topic that will merely appear more learned.

call me

2009-03-15T22:00:00.014-06:00

I have been working on a hymn. Yes, really.

The music is a work in progress but the lyrics are much further along and I thought I'd share them.

My liberal sampling from psalms is no doubt obvious.

Call me and I will come to you, so saith the lord

I burn like a furnace and my days pass like smoke
All of my sorrows have led me here
I have words for my blog, but none for prayers
I cannot find the courage to ask

Ask why the lord receives our prayers
And you might well ask why we breathe
The lord knows our desires yet he waits to hear
For we are forever changing our hearts

Call me and I will come to you, so saith the lord

The fall was short and the winter is long
Summer herself is far away with her flowers
Desires and needs are often confused, still
Incline your ear to me and answer speedily

I am destitute please do not despise my prayer
There is nothing to say that the lord has not already heard
And yet amazingly he answers all who call
The earth is the Lord's and all that is in it

Call me and I will come to you, so saith the lord

My prayer is pure even though it is filled with deceit
I hide myself from you in times of trouble
And in times of wealth I do not call on you, still
Incline your ear to me and answer speedily

I am destitute please do not despise my prayer
There is nothing to say that the lord has not already heard
And yet amazingly he answers all who call
The earth is the Lord's and all that is in it

Call me and I will come to you, so saith the lord
(The earth is the Lord's and all that is in it)

Call me and I will come to you, so saith the lord
(The earth is the Lord's and all that is in it)

The photo was taken in House For All Sinners And Saints

Namaste.

Quinoa, Corn & Spinach Chowder

2009-03-15T12:41:00.002-06:00

I know this is getting boring but soup is just so nice and easy to fix. And Deborah Madison's soup book is a joy. So here is the one we enjoyed last night with a few modifications.

INGREDIENTS

3/4 cup quinoa (rinsed thoroughly under running water}
7 cups water
2 cups frozen corn, cooked
2 tablespoons olive oil
3 garlic clove , finely minced
1 jalapeno chile , seeded and finely minced
1 teaspoon ground cumin
sea salt and pepper, to taste
3 medium potatoes , peeled and diced into 1/4-inch pieces

1/4 lb feta cheese , cut into tiny cubes
one package baby spinach
3 green onions , including greens thinly sliced
1/3 cup cilantro leaves , chopped
1 hard-boiled egg , peeled and diced (optional)

DIRECTIONS

Simmer the quinoa in 7 cups boiling water for 10 minutes.
While the quinoa is cooking, zap the corn
Drain quinoa, but reserve liquid.
Heat the oil in a 3-quart saucepan with garlic and chile, cook for a minute over medium heat, then add the cumin, 1/2 tsp salt, and the potatoes.
Measure 6 cups of the quinoa-cooking water and add it to the pot. Bring to a boil, then add the quinoa and simmer, partially covered, until the potatoes are tender, about 15 minutes. Add the corn.
Turn off the heat, taste for salt, and season the soup with pepper.
Add the cheese, then stir in the spinach and the green onions. As soon as the spinach is wilted, after 2-3 minutes, serve the soup, garnished with the cilantro and hard-boiled egg if you’re using it.

This was good soup!

Namaste.

Bible Verse Fave Of The Week

2009-03-13T21:28:00.003-06:00

For God’s foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God’s weakness is stronger than human strength. 1 Corinthians 1:25

The Church of St. Gregory of Nyssa

2009-03-12T20:52:00.003-06:00

Namaste.

St. Gregory of Nyssa

2009-03-10T16:26:00.015-06:00

St. Gregory of Nyssa church in San Francisco is located directly across from the Anchor Steam Brewery in San Francisco. Nadia had suggested that I attend morning prayer at St. Gregory's since I was in town on business anyway ... and as I trudged up the street at 745 AM and spied the simple wood building that is St. Gregory's I almost turned back to the Starbucks and the New York Times that are my more typical morning prayer service. You see, another participant in the prayer service was going to be Sara Miles, author of Take This Bread, about whom I have posted. Sara's book was a big part of my "decision" to jump into the unknown of being a Christian. Meeting a hero is a bit unnerving.

I walked in between the two wide open wooden doors to a huge sanctuary with incense hovering in the air like a ghost, illuminated by the rising sun from across the bay. Sara instantly saw me, called out "Richard!"(bear in mind we'd never met) and gave me a huge hug. It was quite something. So, I was glad I passed up Starbucks for St. Gregory.

The service was simple and beautiful. Incense, bells, singing of psalms and related prayers, moments of contemplation, and welcome. For this is what struck me the most - people who came in late that were new, not regulars or whatever, the parishioners always jumped up to help them find their place in the service at that moment. These visitors (such as myself) were not interruptions to the service so much as exclamation marks - in a sense, they were the reason we were there, so they could find us. Such a welcome is hard to grasp if you don't experience it.

The building itself calls you to worship and believe. When I travel in Europe I always find that no matter where I am on my spiritual journey I am a total believer whenever I walk into a beautiful cathedral. Just like foxholes, there are no atheists in cathedrals. You might be one before you walk in and after you walk out but its not possible inside. That is St. Gregory's. It is much humbler than a cathedral but every bit as wondrous. I have photos that I'll post in another blog.

After service I had a lovely and too short conversation with Lynn Bruer, pastor of Grace Lutheran Church in Santa Barbara, about what the purpose of a church is in the 21st century. She is on a sabbatical until June and pretty much traveling the world. Lucky lady, she.

The big surprise was Sara bestowing upon me the honor of bearing a gift from St. Gregory's to House for All. She told me that she a thurible for me to take back to HFASS. A thurible. "I wish she wouldn't mumble" I thought to myself. "Sorry," I said. "What's a thurible..." trying to make this gurgley word make sense. "A thurible," she said. "Is the censer for incense that hangs on the end of long chains with some bells that we use during service to carry the incense around the church." And she showed me. Every priest at every mass I had ever attended in my childhood had used one of these babies. I always thought of it as sort of a medieval weapon for trashing evil spirits like a mace or something but I guess its more benign than that.

It's in a shopping bag at my feet as I write this. The bag even has some incense stuff that makes lots of smoke but not much smell to bring back to HFASS.

What in the world will airport security think of this tomorrow?

Namaste.

Leek & Scallion Soup with Potato Gnocchi

2009-03-07T20:37:00.004-07:00

Another winner from Deborah Madison that we enjoyed for dinner tonight while the snow came wafting down. It never really snowed hard but we did get about an inch or so. We also enjoyed the movie The Band's Visit. Worth a rent from Netflix.

1 Tbsp. unsalted butter
4 cups chopped and rinsed leeks (white part only) (about six leeks depending)
1 Celery Rib, peeled and chopped
1 Russet potato, peeled and finely diced
sea salt/fresh ground pepper
1/2 cup dry white wine
4 cups water

1 pkg. potato gnocchi

1 Tbsp. unsalted butter
1 cup finely slivered scallion including an inch or two of the greens

Saute the leeks, potato, and celery with about a tsp. of salt until the leeks have softened.
Add the wine and cook until the wine is almost all gone.
Add the water and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for about 20 min.
Add some pepper. Puree a cup of the soup and return to the pot.

Meanwhile, cook the gnocchi in accord with the package directions. Set aside and keep warm.

Saute the slivered scallion in the butter until just wilted.

Stir the scallions into the soup.

Put some gnocchi in a shallow bowl with a drop or two of truffle oil. Ladle on the soup and stir a little.

Enjoy!

Namaste.

A Lesson In Thankfulness

2009-03-06T20:43:00.000-07:00

Bible Verse Faves Of The Week

2009-03-04T22:07:00.006-07:00

If it is the adherents of the law who are to be the heirs, faith is null and the promise is void. For the law brings wrath; but where there is no law, neither is there violation. Romans 4:14-15

You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? It was before your eyes that Jesus Christ was publicly exhibited as crucified! The only thing I want to learn from you is this: Did you receive the Spirit by doing the works of the law or by believing what you heard? Are you so foolish? Having started with the Spirit, are you now ending with the flesh? Did you experience so much for nothing?—if it really was for nothing. Well then, does God supply you with the Spirit and work miracles among you by your doing the works of the law, or by your believing what you heard? Galatians 3:15

Namaste.

the koan of calvary

2009-03-02T20:24:00.015-07:00

In the koan practice of zen, the student is confronted with a question for which there is literally no intellectual or rational , let alone correct, answer.

In fact, intellectual approaches fail in trying to get to the heart of the teaching presented by koans and zen and presuppose the same difficulty with coming to grips with life. our questions presuppose that there is an answer. but zen begs to differ. one method of "solving" a koan is to take the stance of "don't know mind." "don't know mind" is not literally "don't know" but rather a clearing of the mind to be open to seeing what is right there in front of you. One practice of this is to ask yourself a koan, such as "What is the color of wind?" If you ask sincerely, you may only find peace, after much struggle, with the answer: "don't know."

Imagine the waters of a lake rustled by wind. These are thoughts that keep you from seeing through the water to the rocks and sand on the bottom. you cannot gain clarity about a koan by thinking and reasoning through it any more than you can calm the waters by getting more wind to come.

Two examples:

Elder Ting asked Lin-chi,

"Master, what is the great meaning of Buddha's teachings?"

Lin-chi came down from his seat, slapped Ting and pushed him away.

Ting was stunned and stood motionless.

A monk nearby said, "Ting, why do you not bow?"

At that moment Ting attained great enlightenment.

and

Wakuan complained when he saw a picture of bearded Bodhidarma,

"Why hasn't that fellow a beard?"

In a sense, Christ's death at Calvary is a koan for which there is no rational answer. I cannot reason my way to understanding why Christ had to die. Why the Triune God has taken this path rather than one that would fit far more neatly into my human rationality? My key doesn't open this lock. What is the color of the wind? Why did he know at the top of the mountain with Elijah and Moses that he had to leave that mountaintop and travel to Calvary and endure all the humiliation and pain along the way? And why choose/accept this path?

"don't know"

The koan of Christ death and resurrection is one that I will work with all my life. Some koans are never solved except in the contemplation,

the acceptance of paradox, and,

the discovery of faith.

Namaste.

falling star (first sunday of lent)

2009-03-01T18:25:00.002-07:00

To hear the song that I wrote today go here ...

Sermon By MadPriest

2009-02-28T21:07:00.001-07:00

Here is a wonderful sermon for the first Sunday of Lent from the Mad Priest.

Eucharist, Ignatius and Doubt

2009-02-27T21:29:00.012-07:00

"Take note of those who hold heterodox opinions on the grace of Jesus Christ which has come to us, and see how contrary their opinions are to the mind of God. . . . They abstain from the Eucharist and from prayer because they do not confess that the Eucharist is the flesh of our Savior Jesus Christ, flesh which suffered for our sins and which that Father, in his goodness, raised up again. They who deny the gift of God are perishing in their disputes. — Letter to the Smyrnaeans 6:2–7:1 - Ignatius of Antioch

I am not sure at all what I think of the Eucharist.Ignatius certainly had his clear cut view.

On Ash Wednesday, it is not so clear at all to me. I cannot remember exactly what Nadia says when she hands me the bread to dip in the wine and eat. Something like "this is the body of Christ that is given for you..." But I know that she is fierce and fully present when she says it in a way that no priest of my catholic upbringing ever did. And she means it in a way that cuts down doubt like a scythe.

I do know that I was honored that Nadia asked Charlotte and I to make the communion bread. The very bread that would at least be blessed and perhaps does become the very body of Christ in substance. Perhaps it doesn't matter, though I have a feeling wars figurative and literal have been fought over this point.

In any case it was good bread. The recipe is simple and I list it hear in case anyone else has to bake some communion bread and would like it to not taste like the anemic white wafers that are so loved in so many churches.

Dry Ingredients

Blend together the following ingredients and sift them three times:

2 cups whole wheat flour

1 cup unbleached white flour

1 1/4 tsp baking powder

1 1/4 tsp salt

Stir in 4 tsp of vegetable oil and set aside.

Wet Ingredients

Mix together until dissolved:

3/4 cup of water plus 2 Tbsp of very hot water

3 Tbsp honey

3 Tbsp molasses

Add the wet to the dry and mix well. Dough should be sticky. But don't actually knead it. Divide into four balls and flatten each into a 1/4 inch thick disk.

Score the top of each loaf with a cross.

Bake at 350 for 10 minutes. Remove from oven and brush the tops of the loaves with some vegetable oil. Bake another 5 - 8 minutes. Cool. Each loaf serves a bunch. The original recipe claims 30 but that seems on the high side.

The Meaning Of Lent

2009-02-26T16:09:00.000-07:00

Fat Tuesday Fotos

2009-02-24T22:29:00.005-07:00

Seriously, the donuts from Walton donuts may have been the best I have ever had in my entire life...

Fat Tuesday at Thin Man!

2009-02-23T12:22:00.004-07:00

Confession will be handled via POSTSECRETS.

Donuts are from (I think) Walton Donuts

Namaste!

take this bread

2009-02-22T09:31:00.009-07:00

thinking about how i got to here.

here being a christian again after a long journey in a very dark forest.

Sara Miles gets more than a little credit for ending that journey or at least beginning the end. as the blurb on the back cover says "[she] wandered into a church, received communion, and found herself transformed - embracing a faith she'd once scorned."

well, i wandered into a Barnes and Noble, found this book, read it, and wanted to be transformed just like her. yes, a "lesbian left-wing journalist who'd covered revolutions around the world" got this white collar corporate lawyer to begin a transformation from neo-pagan-Buddhist agnostic to christian. a one-word description - what a relief. of course what i mean by christian isn't what most who hear me say that mean. but that's a different post.

why Sara miles? i think the guts of what she showed me is all in that chapter called "Crossing II" . Sara showed me a faith, a Christ and a church that i had never seen before. one that said you are OK, you are loved and you don't have to be afraid. the Table is big, and all (and she really means ALL ) are welcome. this is not the catholic church of my fabled upbringing nor is it the cloistered whispers of Buddhist meditation halls - both of which had their own little circles of right and wrong. it is a community. a community that seeks to bring together everyone at that Table, and embraces the words she quotes from Isaac of Nineveh: "Did not our Lord share his table with tax collectors and harlots? So do not distinguish between worthy and unworthy. All must be equal for you to love and serve."

i love that Sara decided that her faith existed not in communion she served as deacon - though it did - but that her faith existed in the community pantry that she created at St. Gregory's in San Francisco. Literally tables and tables of food that she gives away with no questions asked. In just the same way I can now imagine Christ giving away loaves and love to the multitudes -

with no questions asked.

So, thank you Sara miles for feeding me all your words. though you have never met me, the knowledge that i could stand in your line and walk out with a bag of food, no questions asked, does more for my understanding of the love of Christ than a thousand sermons ever did.

Namaste.

House Gets A Font

2009-02-21T21:14:00.007-07:00

Moved the original baptismal font into House For All today. The font was in four pieces. The heaviest was the very top which weighed about 400 lbs. It had been at the Joy Lutheran Church for a long time in Parker, CO - not sure how it got down there. But they built a new sanctuary and so the baptismal font has returned home. The photo is of the happy movers!